“Does Your Girlfriend Act Her Age?” tells us that “the women you date should behave—and look—like grown-ups, not characters from High School Musical.” It also explains that with each new episode of The Hills,Gossip Girls and each new tabloid story “chronicling the dysfunction of the Lindsays, Britneys, Nicoles, Heidis, and Laurens” this grown-up type of woman gets harder and harder to find.

I get the feeling that a lot of women are dressing and acting that way because they think that that’s what guys want,” says Jean Twenge, associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of Generation Me, a book about American youth culture. “It’s the same thing as older women getting plastic surgery. The idea is that what men want is a woman who looks 18. Although they don’t usually want a woman who acts 18.” Twenge laughs, then adds, “And that’s where the problem comes in.”

“I’ve been meditating on the question of why women in their twenties seem to be obsessed with all things teen—fashion, slang, gossip, et cetera,” says Anastasia Goodstein, publisher of ypulse.com, a marketing website. “The reality is that teen culture has come to define pop culture.”

As the usual markers of American adulthood—marriage, career, kids—get more and more delayed, the simple-minded distractions of adolescence have extended their grip on the adult brain.
Read More »

You’ve been with your guy for months now, so you figure you’ve already hit a pretty secure level of trust. But then, you start to worry: Your boyfriend is still a guy, after all.

Plenty of guys out there don’t see anything wrong with balancing two or three girls at once or even one-night stand after one-night stand after one-night stand. In case you do feel you have a reason to worry, there are a few devious tests you can put him through to make sure he really is a stand-up guy.

Don’t worry – he won’t feel a thing.
Once he’s gotten up for a bathroom or snack break, steal the remote and flip to a Lifetime movie revolving around a cheating husband (how hard could that be to find?). Then sit on the remote so he can’t find it. Make a comment about how gross the two-timer is when the husband’s face flashes on screen, and then wait for your boyfriend’s response. If he tries to argue from the husband’s perspective, writhers uncomfortably or comments on how every situation is different, you boyfriend may be prone to cheating.

If you want to test him off of the couch, bring him to the nearest restaurant with good wings and really, really good looking waitresses – except Hooters because then you’re just asking for it. If his wandering eyes are far more obvious than his conversation skills, you might have a problem on your hands.

A slightly sneakier (and less obvious) way to see if he’s a cheater at heart is to send him off to hang out with your best guy friends. The code of guy is not unbreakable when a new person is involved, so there’s a good chance your friends will tell you if he was hitting on a hot girl – or went home with one.

Of course, you could just ask him if he has ever cheated, but that’s not nearly as fun.

Your relationship seems perfect. Your man can order your fave frap from Starbucks; he no longer comments on your excessive shoe collection; and, although you two hang out all the time, you still have your separate lives.

Although you may be having a girls' night in, he might be going to a strip club with his boys, and not for those cheap beer specials.

It's a fact: Boys like to see naked girls dancing on a stage. Most of these half-naked entertainers (we won't say all because that'd just be lying) are hot and have enormous bare breasts that are flailing all over the place, probably even in your boyfriend's face.

Yes. It's not the most endearing male characteristic, but somehow it's a primal instinct to see naked girls. This doesn't mean he loves you less or that he's cheating ' unless he sleeps with one of them, and that's a whole other issue.

Think of it however you need to ' male-bonding, a way for him to get out some steam (no pun intended) or even that it really is a place for cheap drinks. In any case, you're safe if he doesn't go to strip clubs regularly. An occasional trip is pretty typical. Besides, how would you feel if he told you to stop staring at the 'Guy With His Shirt Off' in Cosmo?

A few curious thoughts are roaming through your head. There's a commercial on, so you think, What the hell? I'm gonna tell my guy what's on my mind. And then you ask questions about his ex-girlfriend.

Whether you're hopelessly optimistic, downright cynical or somewhere in-between, the bottom line is that you want the truth. Always. His words may sound good, but there are some clear ways to tell if he's telling the truth or lying through his teeth just by observing his body language:

If he bites on his lower lip or tightens his mouth up, he's physically holding back the entire story.

By crossing his arms, legs or ankles, he's put himself into a protective stance, a physical way for him to close up.

He may pull on his ear when giving you an answer, a subconscious way for him to not really hear anything being said.

Rubbing his nose has a similar connotation; he's trying to block his mouth so his words won't be heard in full.

Has he been looking you in the eye when he talks? If your guy is rubbing the corners of his eyes or frequently looking away, it may be because he feels uncomfortable and doesn't want you to really 'see' him.

And there are the more obvious signs to look for: fidgeting, looking down or becoming defensive.

Even if your guy thinks he's the best liar in the world, catch one of these body language cues and you'll know the real truth to the tale he's spinning.

Cheating. It's naughty. It's risky. It's just plain wrong … right? But what really qualifies as cheating? A thought? A feeling? A kiss? These 'cheating terms' obviously differ from person to person.' We decided to focus on the male perspective and asked a few studs for their definition:

'I'm pretty standard. I guess a lip kiss would be considered cheating to me. Of course, that's one that you could work through, as opposed to walking in on your girlfriend being double-teamed with three more guys watching. I would consider that cheating, also.'

'Lust in the heart, as Jimmy Carter once admitted to. Cheating is otherwise being a bad dog.'

'I think it's cheating if you specifically lay out in advance what you can or cannot do. If you're 'in a relationship,' anything outside of that (kissing or more) is cheating. However, when you're first dating, and you haven't had 'the relationship' talk yet, then anything is fair game. So, in a relationship, it's all cheating; dating, anything goes.'

'My definition of cheating is the girl starts with kissing another guy. Having sex with someone else is the ultimate betrayal, but I think even kissing someone else is wrong in a committed relationship.'

'Any romantic or sexual contact with someone other than your mate.'

'It is never one person cheating; there is a basic needs requirement that is not being fulfilled between the partners. So when levels of trust are broken between a couple and one ventures out into the arms of a momentary lover, where the grass seems greener behind the partner's back, that is cheating.

On the other hand, if the person desiring to cheat announces his or her desire to cheat and put on notice the other party, there is no cheating should the cheat occur. Warning signs are everywhere. Then again, sometimes a dog is just a dog, no matter what the sex.'

Terrible Scenarios:

'So I am sitting at home one night when I get a call on my cell from a girl I had been dating for about three months. She sounds upset. I ask her what’s wrong and she said she didn’t want me to hate her. I say why would I? So she says two weeks ago, when she was out with her friends at a bar, she ran into this guy who had always had an interest in her. She said she had too much to drink and ended up going home with him. I was about to start yelling how she could sleep with another guy when she drops the real bomb: 'I am pregnant.' She had an abortion and I never saw her again.' ' Some Guy

'I am adamantly opposed to cheating ' I think trust is the most important element in a relationship, and I fear the day I cannot trust the person I am dating. That being said, when I was a senior in college, I started dating someone in November. We got really serious really quickly, but I still had doubts about the entire thing. During Christmas break, I went away with my family and I ended up kissing a guy on New Year's Eve. I felt nothing, walked away from the guy and never spoke to him again. It was a drunken New Year's thing, and that was as close to cheating as I ever came. I never told my boyfriend about it.' ' A Hot Chick

You're assertive on the dance floor, assertive around your friends and especially assertive in bed. Being assertive around your guy? A whole different story. Want to watch a chick flick once in awhile instead of Sunday night football (good luck, hunny) or maybe actually go out on a date instead of another frat party?

You might think you look demanding by constantly asking for what you want, so you rarely bother. According to Susan M. Campbell, PhD, author of Saying What's Real, there are ways to ask without sounding like you're threatening your boyfriend. She even says that 'asking in a way that reveals yourself is an act of love.' Who knew?

One of the first things you can do is actually to ask your boyfriend if your request seems controlling or obnoxious. Listen to his response so you know how to ask, or not ask, for something similar next time.

Don't think that just because you guys are close, he should know what you want without your asking; no one is psychic. Maybe you're afraid he doesn't really love you, or you don't want to hear no. But waiting for a response from any question is always a risk. If he says no, learn and move on!

Do phrases like, 'I need space' or 'I don't want to answer that' sound familiar? Recognize his need for space or time before a question is answered.

But don't forget that when you ask for something, your boyfriend has the right to ask for something in return. A yes or no answer won't always cut it. So if you ask to watch that romantic movie, football may be the compromise.

You've followed the Patriots forever ' you wear a Troy Brown jersey every game and love Tom Brady (especially when his helmet is off). But your boyfriend is a Patriots FAN. Scratch that ' he is a FOOTBALL FAN: He talks about football and nothing else from Saturday through Tuesday; is in a fantasy football league; and knows every play that Bill Belichick (the Patriots' coach) ever ran. You can in no way (seriously) compete with the love of his life, football.

You can, however, understand his obsession, more so than he will ever understand why you use an eyelash curler.

Ever wonder why guys will race to chug an entire gallon of milk, despite the fact that they know they'll puke in 20 seconds? Because all guys are competitive. They play vicariously through their team, meaning that a Steelers' win or a Roethlisberger sack could determine their mood for the entire day.

The coaches are everything boys want to be ' strong and in control, which is why they coach their team along as they sit on a couch, becoming Monday-morning quarterbacks. Never question your guy when he says he could have made that pass ' always tell him he definitely would have.

Every player has to perform their exact task to win, making this team sport both intense and intricate. Boys want to be involved in every second of the game, so don't even try to make out with him while he's watching. He won't talk to you for a week if he misses a touchdown pass.

Walk into any bar, and you might hear absolute enemies sounding like best friends if they're both Redskins fans because they have a common bond. They also have something to talk about and analyze for the duration of the game and beyond. And who doesn't want to scream at a TV while downing a beer with a complete stranger?

Your class got cancelled, so you decided to surprise your boyfriend by stopping by his room. A quick knock on the door, turn of the knob ' and a sky-high jump from your boyfriend. The crash of the latest issue of Playboy that just fell onto the floor was also a nice touch.

A million thoughts are probably running through your head (not to mention his), and at the first is probably that he isn't turned on by you anymore. But before you rush to this conclusion, try to realize what exactly masturbation means to guys.

Your boyfriend was in his room alone not just because you and his roommate were busy, but because he wanted privacy. Solo sex is totally different, and the time alone may be just what he needed.

And when he's by himself, there's no performance anxiety. He may just want to be pleasured without having to worry about being good in bed.

This doesn't mean he wants to make you feel bad or unworthy, but he might need to let go of his anxieties, a time when personal space is all the more important. And Playboy helps him do that in about 12 seconds.

And don't worry about that issue of Playboy too much, either. It's not that he isn't attracted to you any more; it's just that the single page in the magazine enhances his privacy. After all, the paper doesn't talk back.