When Comedy Central executives signed Dane Cook, they told him they'd be 'over the moon' if he sold 30,000 copies of his comedy CD. After all, the comedy album was dead'exiled to the purgatory of second-rate promotional gimmicks. So when the 34-year-old comedian's sophomore effort, Retaliation, debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard charts last October'the highest charting for a comedy album since Steve Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy (1978)'the suits were stumped. Who was this comedy messiah, and where, oh where, did he find all those adoring fans?
Two words: the Internet.
Dane Cook should be crowned the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. He's starring in two movies slated for release this fall (Employee of the Month and Farce of the Penguins); he's already filmed the HBO comedy special and 'docu-comedy' series Tourgasm; and he's continuing to do stand-up. In his young career, Cook's already been named to Time's 颼 People Who Shape Our World' and as a runner-up for People's 'Sexiest Man Alive' garnered 1,179,222 friends on his MySpace page; and launched a snazzy website to feed podcasts to his adoring and fiercely loyal fans (the 'Dane Train'). All of this from a guy who was once just an ordinary 18-year-old dude from Arlington, MA, telling jokes to pay the rent. In some ways, not that much has changed.
CO-ED: You began your career at 16 and never went to college ' but you've spent more time at college than most co-eds.
DANE COOK: I played so many college campuses early in my comedy career that a lot of the time, when I would get to some of these shows, I'd be looking around trying to find where the show was or walking with other students. I'd be literally stopping teachers or whomever, and they'd go, 'Oh you're going to the show?' And I would be like, 'No, no. I AM the show.'
If you had gone to college, what would you have studied?
In high school'actually, I went to Minuteman Tech vocational school'I loved graphic design, so I probably would have ended up going to a school for graphic design or architecture. I design my own CD covers and I do a lot of the stuff you see on my website.
You're a busy man: you have three movies in production, an upcoming HBO special, a national tour and a TV show in the works. Is it true that you use surgically altered body- doubles like Saddam did?
I've actually been secretly working on cloning, when I'm not doing stand-up. I have a lair. But I can't say where it is, because then it wouldn't be my hidden lair anymore, you know? But it feels that way sometimes, man. People say, 'How are you handling it, how are you able to work so hard?' I tell them that I just think back to those early days, from 1993 to 1996, when I sat in my underwear playing Nintendo, scared to death because I didn't have anything to do or anything to really work on except waiting for the next gig. So, I'm loving it. I have no qualms. I get a little bit tired sometimes. But when it's your time, you gotta grab the reins.
You're still known to kick back in the old underoos for a video game deathmatch or two. What's your current obsession?
I'm a big first-person shooter guy, so I've been playing a couple of different games. I'm still playing Call of Duty 2, which is really kick-ass. I was playing this game The Outfit and I have a couple of new ones that I haven't even cracked out of the box yet. I love gaming. It's really my meditation.
Was there ever a point in your career that you seriously considered packing it in and becoming, say, a window salesman or something?
I knew really early on that I wanted to be a comic and that I was going to do it for the rest of my life, no matter what level it took me to. I was going to take it to the extreme. There was never a plan B. I don't believe in plan B. I believe in having a plan A and going for it until you die.
You claim you've never done drugs and rarely drink. Why?
It's really kind of simple math, man. I just had an epiphany very early on in my life that it was going to be a hard road if I partied and started getting into that lifestyle. I think if I was a person that partied, I'd feel like I would have to take that to the extreme like anything else that I do.
I've seen guys who get high a lot, and what ends up happening is they say, 'Oh man, this helps make me be funnier, helps me get more creative.' I think what happens is you start to lose the confidence that you're funny, and you become depressed'you start going, 'I'm not the funny person ' this weed is makes me funny or this drink makes me funny.'
I would never want to feel that; I like to feel feelings. If I'm feeling great about something, I wanna know what that feels like. And if I'm feeling shitty, I wanna absorb that and use it.
You fulfilled a lifelong dream by hosting Saturday Night Live in January. You were asked to audition for the show in 1996 but turned it down.
I remember that time so vividly. I was in New York City and I remember talking to my manager and having him say, 'They want you to audition.' They were literally looking for a young, white energetic guy who can play guitar. They wanted another Sandler type. And I was all those things.
It was kind of a no-brainer; I really felt like if I go in and do this, I'm going to get this. And I sat in front of Rockefeller Plaza by myself, staring up at the building, and I realized I wasn't ready for the behind-the-scenes of that show. I did not have the confidence, the stamina ' the plethora of ideas to go in there swinging. I would have been a follower at that point. I was not ready to fight that fight.
People put you on the 'Sexiest Man Alive' list, and Time put you on the 'Most Influential' list. Is there any list you haven't been put on that you would like to be put on?
I think if there was another list away from comedy, it would be for caring about people. I'm living up to what my creative writing teacher said to me back in 10th grade: 'Dane, what are you going to do to be a contributing member of this society?' And it was like, 'Holy s't. What an amazing question.' It impacted me for years. I think that wouldn't be a bad list to be on: the someone-who-is-really-contributing-to-my- community list.
In your HBO series Tourgasm, we get to see the superstar Dane Cook, who has 15 years in front of audiences under his belt. What was it like when you first started out?
It was pretty lonely. When you're starting out as a comedian, you're your own manager, booker and bouncer. There's nobody there to protect you or help you.
There are so many elements to stand-up comedy that are opposite to a normal occupation, where you play by the rules and you're rewarded. In stand-up comedy, you can play by the rules and you can still end up in Hoboken playing Chuckles. It's very unforgiving, and there's no rhyme or reason for who gets what, when.
What part of your act do people most often quote?
I do this story about a run-in I had with a guy at a Wal-Mart, where I cut him in line and basically he said, 'I'll f'king kill you.' So now every email that I get ends with, 'Hey, Dane, by the way, I'll f'king kill you.' I get mo
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Kevin Cloud: We’ve been working on the 360 and PS3 for almost two years now. Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, when we released it on the PC, we got a lot of editorial acclaim for it, if you’ll remember, a lot of awards and nominations, so there’s some really good gameplay in there.
It’s not often that a celebrity admits when they’re wrong. Scandals come and go, but count how many times you’ve actually heard Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton admit the wrongness of their actions or words. You can probably count the number on your thumb. And even then, the detraction was more than likely court-ordered.
