With all these hotties, from Scarlett Johansson to Melissa Theuriau, tying the knot these days, we here at COED decided to give you some tips on the disastrous glorious world of matrimony.

I know it sounds crazy, but before you know it, you or one of your buddies might be getting hitched. It can creep up on a guy quickly, believe it or not. One day they’re a Bachelor for life and then the next, they’ve met a lady who is ‘different’ from all of the others and they want to seal the deal.

There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with this. Although much of our generation has slowly moved away from the idea of marriage being a necessary institution, those in love still seem to find it to be the ultimate profession of love and devotion. If you or someone you know is treading these matrimonial waters, I suggest checking out Groom Groove before relinquishing control of your entire life to your soon-to-be mother-in-law.

This Site has devoted every piece of their content to the marrying man, and thankfully so. They cover everything from popping the question to dealing with ‘bridezilla’ to coping with Cold feet.

Here are some of the best pointers Groom Groove has to offer: Read More »

Women love assholes. It’s a fact. Now, sling a guitar over that asshole’s shoulder, and the girls just come running–bras in hand.

Rock-stars get all of the chicks. Those once nerdy son-of-a-bitch marching band boys grow up, start bands, party their pants off, get treated like gods, and then they f*ck the girl you were planning to ask out. So what gives? What’s so attractive about a grungy dude who can’t commit, has a chip on his shoulder, and hardly any money in his wallet?

Let me break this totally illogical process down for you:

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If you take a look at our recent articles, you may have noticed us getting a bit, well, slap-happy. And why not: an orgasm is something we can all agree on, be it from hand or vagina.

And if you thought there was only one method to whacking it, you are denying yourself to a whole subculture of masturbatory methods. Spank site JackInWorld alone sports several techniques that I’ve never heard of, let alone attempted. So let’s collectively pull down our pants, close the shades, read the top techniques after the jump and rub one out, for posterity’s sake. Read More »

Contrary to popular belief, single unlaid men have plenty of options to score with women. Problem is, they almost all exist online. But if the usual surfing around for 15-second clips of free porn and desperate, immediate Casual Encounters on Craigslist isn’t getting you off properly, maybe you, single unlaid man, should try the alternative: finding a woman in prison…online!

Getting to know Women Behind Bars on relationship terms seems like a very bold, odd, uncomfortable situation — and guess what? IT IS, or so it seems. Read More »

Since the beginning of the Catholic Church (at least…I suck at history), men have been hindered, ridiculed, shunned and bludgeoned for their masturbating escapades. But no more!

BBC News reports today that regular masturbation clears the man’s system of cancer-causing fluids, reducing the risk of prostate cancer.

From the article:

Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits.

They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.

Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

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After reading this article from DivineCaroline.com about a girl who finds her boyfriend’s porn stash, we here at COED decided it’s time to give our side of the story.

The author discovers the dastardly evidence while “looking for Christmas presents for her boyfriend,” after which, she confronts the man with all the insecure girlfriend questions you might expect.

(From the article:)

• Are you doing this because you are unhappy sexually with us?
• Are there things you watch here that you want to do, but have been unable to initiate with me, don’t want to do with me, or that I do not inspire in you?
• Do you see me as your “wife type” and these are your “vixens” and the two are totally separate?
• Are you looking at young girls that would be considered illegal?
• Are you looking at gay sex with two men?

First of all, WTF?! “Vixens,” “illegal,” “gay sex!” Ladies, ladies, ladies. You need to relax. Every time I’ve heard this story, the girl has been “looking for Christmas presents,” finds porn, and proceeds to have a complete failure of character. Read More »

For many drink enthusiasts, Scotch and Bourbon stand strongest at opposite ends of the “brown spirit” battlefield. To the West, the sweet punch to the face of Bourbon, America’s whiskey; to the East, Scotch whisky — a deep, smoky Highland warrior.

While plenty of whisky — or “whiskey,” take your pick — drinkers cross sides, most have their favorite kind. Far more, however, couldn’t tell the difference between a Maker’s Mark and a Johnnie Walker, or don’t realize there’s a difference in the first place.

If you’re only experience with drinking whisk(e)y involves a chaser, you’re doing it wrong. Not that shots suck (never would I say such a thing), but they do limit the drinking experience to “not drunk” and “drunk,” without leaving room for a bit of beverage enjoyment.

Between that and not knowing where to start among the thousands of different whiskies, it doesn’t seem worth the effort when alcohol still works, regardless of what you know. But with a little bit of knowledge, a whole new world of drinking is opened up to you. Plus, people will think you’re smart. Here’s how to spot the differences and appreciate Scotch and Bourbon alike. Read More »

Since every woman will hide the suckiest sides of her personality, until she has you trapped, here’s who to look out for, before reaching the point of no return.

1. Out of Your League: If the whole night you’re thinking “I can’t believe this girl’s into me! She so F**king hot!” there’s probably reason to run–chances are you’re not that charming.

While getting an Adriana Lima lookalike in your bed is definitely high-fiveable, only two outcomes are likely: She’s a loose cannon, leaving you stuck, post-coital, talking about her bulimia and bi-polar disorder - and you get crabs. Or, her hotness puts a spell on you and you fall in love with her, get married, and only realize that she’s a complete nut-house after the honeymoon. Either way, you lose.

2. Leaves Her Stuff: As one of the oldest tricks in the book, insecure girls will leave something of theirs at your place, hoping to force you into seeing them again. So look out for any “forgotten” articles of clothing or jewelry. Girls that pull this stunt only bring jealousy, headaches and heartbreak. If she calls you asking for her stuff, agree to meet her at a public place, to avoid being trapped by her womanly wiles, a second time.

True, some perfectly fine girls can honestly forget things at your place. But if she calls sounding more interested in making plans than getting her stuff, it’s time to jump ship. Read More »

We live in a Facebook age where our every move is showcased for the world to see. Even personal matters, like ending a relationship, are no longer private because of the Newsfeed.

Valleywag tells the story of a distraught reader whose status change went virtual via his Newsfeed. To avoid having this happen to you learn how to correctly manage your Facebook privacy settings before the break up goes down - you’ll thank us (and Valleywag more specifically!) later.

As a man, it’s your job to do some things women don’t like. One of those things is drinking single malt Scotch whisky. It smells like garbage and tastes like fire. But with a little time and a lot of drinking, you’ll appreciate the subtle flavors of the most masculine drink on the shelf.

Produced on Islay (eye-luh), an island off the West coast of Scotland, Laphroaig (la-FROYG) is known for its bold, heavily peat-smoke-flavored whiskies. The distillery sits on Islay’s southern coast, allowing the briny sea air to flavor the aging whisky. Laphroaig Quarter Cask is aged five years in regular barrels, followed by a year in smaller ‘quarter casks,’ which gives the whisky 30-percent more contact with the wood, greatly enhancing its flavor in a short amount of time.

Though more moderately peated than its 10-year-old brothers, Quarter Cask has a velvety vanilla aroma, deep, slightly sweet, full-bodied flavor, with a pleasantly smoky finish. While some Scotch drinkers get douchey about “proper” ways to drink single malts, I believe discovering what you like best is most important. That said, I wouldn’t mix Quarter Cask with anything other than water, seltzer or ice. Adding anything sweet will taste like ass, while killing the flavor and complexity of the whisky - you might as well save money, and grab a Jack and Coke.

I highly recommend drinking Quarter Cask neat (straight-up), or with a few drops of water, which will open up the flavor of the alcohol. If you’re new to single malt Scotches (or just a wuss), try adding 40-50-percent water to cut down some of the intensity while maintaining the flavor. And don’t expect any make-out sessions with your girl, afterwards.

Laphroaig Quarter Cask Notes:

Age/Alcohol content: Six-year-old, 48% alc./vol.

Smells like: Hints of peat, vanilla and coconut

Tastes like: Creamy and deep, with moderate peatyness, and a long, smoky finish