If the following guys lived anywhere but Hollywood, and did anything but entertain, these assclowns would be picking from the bottom of the babe food chain. But as it is, they are getting more undeserved booty than a fleet of pirates, shacking-up with some of Hollywood’s elite hotties. We’re not saying they’re bad people. All we’re saying is the women are getting ripped off.
Check out the 7 Top Ass-Getting Hollywood Assclowns after the jump!
Wilmer Valderrama
What can I possibly say about this guy? He played Fez on That 70’s Show, the most annoying foreign guy on TV since Balky, but somehow he hooks up with the sexiest starlets in all of Hollywood. This guy’s babe roster is second only to Derek Jeter and Leonardo Di Caprio. Total D-bag, but we’d take his sloppy seconds any day.
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
Brian Austin Green
Brian Austin Green made a name for himself playing David Silver in the popular 90’s TV drama Beverly Hills 90210. He was a total ass in the 90’s, which makes him a retro-D-bag. Green is lucky enough to say he hooked up with Kelly Kapowsky during her hot years in the 90’s, and is currently dating the 2008’s Sexiest Woman in the World, Megan Fox, who recently said she would rather stay at home all day having sex with Green then leave the house. Someone punch this guy in the nuts already…
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
Talan Torriero
Talan was a star of the early seasons of MTV’s “Laguna Beach.” Talan is a perfect representation of the new school of celebrity that can thank reality TV for their “stardom.” Ironically, it is all of the reality TV peeps who have the biggest chips on their shoulders, and Talan is no exception. He had a relationship with Kristen Cavallari on the show, and was known as the jock of the group. He went on to have a nine-day engagement to Sexy Rock Spawn Kimberly Stewart, and has tried and failed in his attempt to build a music career of his own. Can’t knock the guy though, because he’s gotten it on with some pretty good looking babes, including the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls. Who’s on your list?
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
Adam Duritz
Lucky Son-of-a-Bitch #1 is Adam Duritz, lead singer of the ‘Counting Crows.” He looks like the bastard child of Sideshow Bob and Joey Ramone’s corpse. Over the course of 15 years, he has bagged some of the sexiest leading ladies in Hollywood–including the daughter of Donald Trump and John Mayer’s new squeeze, Jennifer Aniston.
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
Criss Angel
To you and us, Criss Angel is just another fruit cake with a funny hair cut. His shows are half Jackass and half David Blaine mixed with hepatitis. But this TV D-bag magician knows how to work the magic on some of Hollywood’s sexiest starlets. The first time we laid eyes on him, we had him pegged for a gay–but if you can tag Pam Anderson, you are straight enough.
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
You know Benji and Joel Madden from the pop punk band Good Charlotte. One of the Madden brothers recently had a baby with one of our Sexiest Rock Star Spawns while the other is dating her best friend… such a quaint love triangle. Don’t let them fool you into believing they are settling down, these guys have a long history of hooking up with some of Hollywood’s elite, and they’ll be back in the game soon enough. They may think they are hardcore punk/rock, but any one who was a part of “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous” is pop. Sorry dudes, pose away!
Benji (Right)
Joel (Left)
[Click The Thumbnails To Very Each Girl's Full Gallery]
Who Is The Least Deserving Assclown?
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14 Comments
Man, the madden bros are two of the biggest d-bags on the planet. And their band blows. How the hell did the get those chicks?
Damn you Wilmer Valderrama! Worst of all is that you got to Lindsay Lohan before she became a crazy drunk, you tagged Jennifer Love Hewitt before she got fat in the midsection and… well… Alba and Johansson, need I say more?
On top of all that, you are a C-Level celebrity at best. There is just something wrong with that. How did Fez become the new Brad Pitt? The mind wanders…
Wilmer has gotten waaaaay more prime booty then ANY dude should be allowed. Alba,Scar Jo, Mandy Moore. I would personally love to shake his hand…then drive my foot up his ass.
DUDES, PUH-LEEZE HELP ME OUT. I CAN NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW THAT TOOL SHED, NOTHING OF A MAN TALAN TORREIRO SCORED NOT ONLY TARA CONNOR, BUT NICOLE F’IN SCHERZINGER. I MEAN, YOU CAN EXCUSE THE CAVALARRI DEAL SINCE THAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL BS…BUT NICOLE AND TARA? I MUST’VE DIED AND AM NOW IN HELL AND DON’T EVEN KNOW. AT LEAST, I DIDN’T UNTIL I SAW THIS CRAP.
um, where is derek jeter? His conquests are more impressive than all these losers
These guys are most likely popular with certain ladies because they got that big old thang that some ladies love. Why else? It sure isn’t cuz they are good kissers. Ouch! That 2 day beard has got to really scratch.
I know that I’d never go around bragging that I actually touched, let alone fucked Tila Tequilla, Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton, in fact, I’d deny, deny,deny, deny it to my dying breath.
Britney Spears, J-Love, and Hilary Duff on the other hand, yeah I’d talk about that.
“Trevor says : Britney Spears, J-Love, and Hilary Duff on the other hand, yeah I’d talk about that.”
as sketchy as tila and kim kardashian are, how could you ever choose that nightmare britney spears to brag about?
I sharted my pants
where is john mayer on this list? he is the biggest bitch of a douche bag ever! the type that laughs at his own jokes to keep the silence from spreading.
I doubt Fez ever dated Scarlett, Jessica Alba, or Mila Kunis (except for on the show). And Mandy Moore swears she never slept with the guy. Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
First of all anybody who makes a Balky reference loses all credibility, also you should add yourself to the list of D-Bags for that reference.
Thanks.
PS Paris Hilton is gross, and why is Tila Tequilla on this list I could go out in any city and find 10 girls hotter than these two Clowns.
What exactly are the sources for all of this? Seems like someone just decided to fuck around with photoshop and put women they liked with guys they didn’t. I don’t believe most of this shit.
I think all this list proves is that women are idiots and have horrible taste in men.
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