It’s been 17 years since Led Zeppelin last reunited for a one-off performance, and much has changed in the climate of popular rock. To “rawk” nowadays you must simply grumble in a faux-baritone while chugging guitars steady the pace until the chorus sends the entire affair into a loud, mid-tempo dirge. It’s a sad state of affairs in rock today if you’re not looking in the right places.

In Led Zeppelin’s heyday, the late John Bonham’s caveman stomp supplied the blueprint for every Bamm-Bamm inspired drummer; John Paul Jones anchored the band with seismic bass and keyboard accompaniment; Page’s riffs proved the theory of plate tectonics and Plant’s coyote howl could tear the pasties off a stripper. Yeah…Led Zep was (and is) pretty good.

If you’re gonna go big, you might as well go Zeppelin: