Guy gets a criminal record for yelling obscene remarks at his television. (The Sun)

Custom officers find a bunch of ecstasy stuffed inside a Mr. Potato Head. (AFP)

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire! We don’t need no water let the motherf***er burn! Burn motherf***er, burn! (Boston Globe)

Actual headline: “Leapfrogging Mayor Bruises Tomato.” (BBC News)

Grandpa’s got major karate skills. (10 TV)