In the latest chapter of this never-ending saga, shamed ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer has been contacted by Playgirl, who hope he’ll tell all (and show all) to the magazine.

Playgirl’s open letter to Spitzer is as follows:

Dear Eliot,

It’s not fair. We’ve been watching you; and we’ve seen how you’ve been crucified by the mass media, conservatives, and Republicans. We’ve stood by as your call-girl was offered $1 million by Hustler to show the world what she’s already been showing the world for a whole lot less.

We think you’ve had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. But we’ve been thinking. Your political career is sadly over; and you owe a lot of money to a lot of people. Hell, you may land in jail before too long. So consider this letter a brief note of urgency.

How about making some loot back, by showing us what you saved for such a select few?

How about strutting your sexuality, and defending your right to get down? Couldn’t you use a little rent money right about now?

Seriously—get in touch with us. We’re ready to make you a very attractive offer. Someone get Spitzer on the line: Playgirl needs him naked, now.

You hear that? Playgirl needs Eliot Spitzer naked…NOW.

No time can be wasted, folks, unless we’re talking about the time spent keeping up with the latest mishaps of rich politicians and their money-loving whores.

But really - does anybody want to see Spitzer’s scope? I’m sure Kristen / Ashley Alexandra Dupre / Call Girl #9 / J.A.W. (Just Another Whore) even averted her eyes when bobbing for cash, but hey, what do I know - I’m just your average guy making a living off the most irrelevant news of the day.

On a side note, whenever I have a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week” I take a trip to Arby’s and order a Reuben Wrap. It dulls the pain of living an extremely sad, unhappy, very not good life.