Son-of-a-b*tch! For some ridiculous reason, Texas has a law that forbids strippers from getting within 3-feet of their customers. (Do you know how far 3-feet is when boobs are involved?) And according to TheSmokingGun.com, because of this completely impractical law, they busted 18 innocent–I’m sure–women yesterday, who forgot to pack a tape measure in their g-string.

But it get’s worse.

Now that you’re properly pissed, I have to provide a disclaimer, before you peruse the gallery: Strippers aren’t always hot. The girl above is pretty fly, but at some strip clubs, that can be rare; just because she covers her body in glitter, that soft, sweet stripper smell, and takes off her clothes in the dark doesn’t mean she looks like a Pussycat Doll.

So I admit, some definitely are smokin’, but some would make you want to catch your crotch on fire, just to get her ass-glitter off your pants–if you saw her in broad daylight, of course.

Luckily for you, we’ve got just that! If, by the end of it, lap-dances seem not so great, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Check out The Smoking Gun for the full gallery, here!