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- Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
- A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.
- The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
- If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.
- Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I’m an idiot.”
- The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
- If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you’re ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
- Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
- If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
- Men don’t drink from straws. Unless you’re doing a Mind Eraser,
- You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
- Try one new drink each week.
- The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
- If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
- Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You’ll be surprised how well it works.
- Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
- If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
- Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
- Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
- Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
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This is plagiarized from Modern Drunkard Magazine
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