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Women confuse men. That’s a given. But it’s not because we don’t learn from our past relationships; we just forget everything we learned in the time between one and the next. And we only remember how different the two genders are when a woman’s inherent eccentricities rear their wild head, once again.
To keep things in check, we’ve compiled a cheat sheet to help you keep your girl’s differences in perspective with COED’s 13 Facts About Women Men Forget. So no matter how cool the chick, chances are she (is)…
Full of Sh*t: Before you call NOW, let us just say that this is only a periodic trait, and exists in varying degrees. Most of the time, it comes out in what we like to call a “game,” but outside of a relationship it’s called lying. Basically, she tells you one thing, but means something more than her words. (Words only seem to matter when she remembers to use yours against you.) Other times, it happens when she thinks lying serves a purpose greater than the truth of the moment. So, she might have gone to lunch with her ex and said she didn’t–but he was a dick like usual, so it wasn’t a big enough deal to tell you about (i.e., she cares about you enough to not want to hurt your feelings, but not enough to stop looking elsewhere). Now, try going out with your ex…
More Complicated Than You: When a man says all he needs is some time for TV, some time for drinking beer (aside from time spent watching TV) and some sex, he isn’t kidding. Most guys are often easily pleased, regularly content (if not happy) and down for pretty much anything. That’s what we mean by “easy-going.” When you’re not dating a woman (or have just started dating her, and she likes you), she can have no trouble matching that description. However, once she’s comfortably in a relationship, she unveils a net of internal and inter-personal intricacies capable of confusing the crap out of any man. It’s a lot of ins, outs, what-have-yous, and it’s F’ing difficult to remember.
Requires Compliments: Ok ladies, we get it–you have terrible self-esteem. And that sucks. We’re sure it’s our fault, somehow. (How?) But unless you want to start telling us what a gigantic d*ck we have every time we see you, give us a break if we don’t notice what you’re wearing from time to time. Maybe what you’re wearing sucks. Did you think of that?…Uh, sorry honey. What we meant to say was, that weird bag dress you threw on looks awesome.
Believes She Knows More About You Than You Do: Again, this only happens after her relationship is in a comfortable spot. At that point, if there’s something she doesn’t like about you, she will probably try to change it. Note: If you’re cheating on her, it’s ok for her to want that to stop. But if you’re just wearing the wrong shirt, or have the wrong haircut, that’s not her sh*t to change. You know how you want your hair, damnit. Tell her so–she’ll appreciate you standing up for yourself.
P.S. Women: Don’t believe anything Cosmo or any other “female-targeted publication” tells you about what guys like. Just keep it as close to BJs and BBQ as possible and you’re in the green.
Evil Toward Other Girls: Unless you beat women (in which case, you should be getting your ass kicked right now, or in jail–preferably both) it’s difficult to comprehend the razor-sharp viciousness women lash each other with during a feud. Angry women are cold, calculating–and if they decide to fight back, they inflict the most damage possible. And this is the part guys forget: Mess up, and they’ll do the same to you! So if you catch your girl hitting below the belt with emails and rumors against someone you thought was her friend, watch your back, that’s all we’re saying.
Self Conscious About Something: This is essentially the cause of “Requires Compliments,” from above. But what women don’t realize is that, when a guy is with a girl, he thinks she’s hot. That’s a given in a guy’s mind, and doesn’t change much. So we completely forget that women, in general, are nervous wrecks of internal anguish. Usually, their fluctuating insecurity is about their bodies, which they say is a product of our cruel desire for them. (As if women are so kind to each other on this front…) Really, it’s about all types of stuff. So guys, if you take this fact of female existence to heart, it helps explain many of their womanly mysteries. (Not the g-spot one, though…)
Crazy: We know this is cliche, but let’s get something straight: When chemical imbalances (i.e., changes in hormone levels) control your thoughts, words and actions–that’s called crazy. A “visit from aunt flow,” as they say, is enough to throw many women over the edge–at least for a couple of days. And while we will forever hold hope that there’s a reliably sane one amongst them, we are yet to even hear of her existence. In fact, most women admit their (temporary) insanity; you’d know if you listen to them. Don’t, and that’s some sh*t they’ll use against you, if you make the mistake of not knowing what the hell is going on.
Not Funny: Believe us, we’ve met (and dated) plenty of funny women. They’re not always fat and not always lesbian. Some of them are hot, and those chicks are the best. But for the most part, women just like to laugh at our jokes (they all say they want a funny man), and suck at coming up with their own. And when it comes to stand-up comedians, women have Lisa Lampanelli and Sarah Silverman and…uh…yeah, that’s it. Unless you count Courtney Love, but we doubt you want to claim her.
A Star-F**ker: Given the opportunity, most women would seriously consider screwing a (cool) famous person, just for the f**k of it. Even your girlfriend. It’s just in their nature. (Non-virgin) guys don’t get obsessed with famous people the way women do. (Just go to a Justin Timberlake concert, or at least stand outside and watch to see.) We’re not saying she’ll cheat on you, but she would definitely weigh her options, given the chance. Especially if the dude plays a guitar or drums. Those dudes get laid, always. Double the chances again if he has an accent. Basically, if she’s going to an after party, agree to meet her there–or consider yourself a dumbass. (She will.)
A Better Liar: When a man lies, he knows he’s doing something wrong. He’ll dart his eyes, mumble, change the subject and try to just get the hell out of the situation as fast as possible. When a woman lies, she can look the person she loves square in the eye and feed him the biggest load of bullsh*t ever, and make it seem like she’s being perfectly reasonable–more reasonable than usual! (That’s your first clue.) But pity the man who catches his woman in a lie; call her out on it, and she will drop her entire arsenal of your f**k-ups upon your quickly withering form. Forget that tactic; it’s better to just go get drunk and hit on other chicks out of spite.
Enjoys Cat Calls: First of all, most dudes don’t call out to girls on the street; we check out your ass and overflowing push-up bra from a respectable distance. But women don’t just (secretly, deep down) enjoy getting cat calls thrown their way, they expect it. Sure, some dude might go over the line now and then, and that never feels nice. But if nobody stares and nobody says a single lewd comment, she feels less sexy, like there’s something wrong with her that day, or at least with what she’s wearing. Guys, don’t take this as an invitation to hit on every stranger you see walking down the street. But ladies, stop telling us you don’t like it.
Constantly Looks For Inner-Meaning: For men, saying exactly what you mean stands as a matter of pride. But no matter how straight your talk, women like to feel like they have more control over the situation by attempting to decode what you’re not saying, so they can guess how you’re feeling and what to do next. Here’s the thing, ladies: Men only talk to accomplish a goal of some type, like working out a business plan. You talk just to talk. It makes you feel better just to get everything out there. If talking isn’t for any reason other than to talk, he’d rather do anything else.
Uses Sex To Manipulate Men: If she’s looking extra hot and/or acting particularly friendly, beware: she is probably going to ask you to do something you don’t want to do. (This is a perfectly acceptable trade-off in a woman’s mind.) She knows you like sex, and she’s got the tools to use that desire against you–or at least to get what she wants. But sex is what we want, so don’t get us wrong on this one: We want you to use sex to manipulate us. It’s the best form of manipulation possible. But don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.
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28 Comments
I corroborate all of the above, this list is pretty much %100 accurate.
1 item I would add to this list is all women hate when you claim to “know” them.
Every single woman I’ve ever been with hates when I make any claim to ‘know’ them. If you hand them a raspberry iced tea and they say ‘oh that’s my favorite drink!’ and you say ‘oh I know’ they get irate about how you don’t know everything about them.
It’s really sad.
Fuckin’ A Dude.
totally true. i hate to admit it, but every single thing is true.
Aside from the “cat calls” part I’d say that this is pretty spot on.
I’m pretty funny, but I’ve also been told that that’s weird. And I enjoy the men so…I guess add me to the funny list?
And not too sure how a woman has to dress in order to get cat-calls on a daily basis. do you just date hookers?
And sorry, unless your bf is a complete douche bag and/or you’re a slut, you don’t go to parties and pick out random guys to sleep with. I’ve known plenty of girls, we don’t do this.
But you guys *are* pretty easy to manipulate.
One rule that you forgot: women are stupid, especially if they are hot. The rarest thing in the world: good looking woman who’s smart.
Just have to say that I am a firm believer of this
And thanks for the reminder
this is the most disgusting thing i’ve read in a long time. these claims are just based on stereotypes! obviously, the author does not know many girls. just because women are portrayed as being “full of shit”, shallow, irrational, insecure, unintelligent, manipulative people in the media does not mean all women are this way! I don’t know anyone who is as horrible a person as the author makes out the average woman to be. Please stop perpetuating negative stereotypes about women.
It’s clear that not all of this applies to every woman, but across the board it covers someone somewhere.
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/homepage.php
I would say the writer just got dumped and after reading this I can see why.
Agree competely.
Women are easy to lie to though. You can lie to just about anyone effectivley if you want to. Some are worse than others.
Also, a woman who is hot with a good personality it an extreme rarity. Its just not necessary for survival for a good looking woman to have a good personality or social skills. lol. BC well fuck you either way.
Ha, ha! Misogyny SURE is funny! Poor men. You’re so put upon by the other half of earth’s population. We should just shut up and get in the kitchen where we belong, right?
Pathetic.
Hmm, I find most of the ‘facts’ at least partially true,..but enjoys cat calls?!? Thats just..weird. Most females I know feel gross and scared when that happens, I myself almost called the cops on a guy who followed me down a street, asking that I smile at him. Trust me, I did not feel sexy.
As for funny girls, I have two male roommates who drool over Tina Fey and Pam from the Office, so I think humor can make a plain girl seem hotter than a porn star, ..at least to guys that are worth a damn.
Eh, I think this list is just a general list of assumptions about what women are supposed to be under current gender roles - this is what we’re supposed to be able to expect, not necessarily what we’ll really get. Start making scientific studies about what men don’t know about women and I’ll pay attention.
Women aren’t into simple men. when we’re not challenged, we can act like total jerks the same way you can (we’ll lie, have ex-lunch, dress extra hot to go out without you)… However, when we are interested and feel appreciated, all of that does change. this isn’t just a gender thing, men have self esteem issues too, they’re just taught different coping mechanisms (see above, watching tv, with beer and not talking about it). everybody just needs to stop focusing on gender so much and try to solve why people act like complete f-ups sometimes.
You stupid fuck.
Most of what makes women different is the way you treat us.
If you want us to lie to you, make us feel like we can’t trust you.
Or like you’re a total dick not worth being honest with.
Which you’re pretty good at, by the way.
The comments are almost more comical than the post. I don’t see how everybody cannot agree on at least a few of the points. If you’re offended by this post, that probably means you have done a few of the things on the list. It’s ok. We still love you.
Nice article. I fail to see how this is misogyny, though. If this was 13 facts about men, I’m willing to bet it wouldn’t be considered misandry.
I agree with Kate, matey, you need to get a grip. Just because all women aren’t perfect 100% of the time, doesn’t mean you can come on here and slag them off collectively like this.
You ain’t the biggest misogynist on the internet, sure, but seriously. Think harder about this.
As for the catcalls thing, the most heat and least light on the internet, let this be the last word on the subject. If men didn’t need to hit on women as they walked down the street, and minded their own, then not being hassled the whole time wouldn’t mean there was something “wrong” with you, would it? It would just mean that men who fancied you were giving you a break.
Female psychology is a big subject and dismissive/disdainful stuff like this isn’t making the world a better place, sorry.
PS yes I am a geezer.
Concur with all of the above. Bravo and thanks!
I would add that the chief complaint women have against men is that we’re too “controlling”. Basically, if we try to balance the checkbook or stem the influx of STDs, that’s “controlling”.
i’d just like to ask all those that agree with these “facts,” how many women have you known in your lives? really, is this how you see your mothers? sisters? friends? from the sound of it the only women whom you’ve encountered have been neurotic bitches, and maybe thats a reflection on what type of person you are and who you attract.
For all the women that don’t agree with this article you just don’t want to admit that you are like that no matter how much you wanna deny it. I’ve been with lots of women good or bad. They are all like that more or less. This article is 100% true!
No, women aren’t stupid. We act stupid. It’s part of the manipulation and keeping the power on our end. We know you like to have every idea be yours and be right about what direction to go, and what looks best where and well….everything. In the end, you get your ego trip and we get what we want!
This is like 100% accurate. I’ve been in those type of relationships where the woman thinks they know everything about you, so when you’re telling them what’s up and they second guess you that is what gets on my nerves because she doesn’t believe you when your trying to spill your guts to her like she wanted you to and she ends up starting an argument because that’s not what she wanted to hear.
I agree 100% with this, i have had lots of girlfriends and i have been a whole lot of “love you like a brother friend” to know women are exactly like this. the women that state other wise are bitter or don’t want to accept they are that shallow or stupid, remember you got to do, what you got to do to get what you want and women are smart enough to know what they are doing to men even if they don’t want to admit it.
Now I’m not defending men and the shit that men do cause i know all the shit i have done but woman are smarter and the use that to there advantage, there just being hypocrites. the say its misogynistic but thy them selves say its for “manipulation” who ever has a sister or a mother who hasn’t at one time take advantage of the situation because she is a girl or she can get her way because she knows how men think and act, even if its there brother or there father. They manipulate, they scheme.
And if it’s such a negative stereotypes against women why don’t women try to change that. There is a big difference between a woman who knows what she wants, is in control of her life and is secure enough in herself than a girl who just uses her feminine whiles to make a man do want she wants (any dumb girl can do that). We can take a poll right now and i bet that MORE than 90% of men will agree with this list its not because they hate women its because we have been hit by one or more of these examples.
Is it our fault that women have to resort to these examples to get what they want out of a man, (maybe, maybe not) but not one woman can swear to me that they aren’t guilty of one or more of the things on this list, (Hell the list could have been longer) Even the nicest girl is guilty of this for one reason or the other. And you can’t make a scientific study about this stuff because women don’t like to see themselves i that light. How can the be assumptions if more than 95% of the male population will agree to these examples. And they say that they do these things because men do worse to them and thats clear and utter bullshit because most men who lie and cheat are in the minority (the pretty boys, the bad boys, the rough boys), normal men, nice guys can all agree that most women are like this (I know his because i am a normal guy).
The problem is that he made a correct generalization but with only one side of the coin, if he had included all the shit that men do maybe this would be different but my answer would still be the same your only mad cause its true and he called your bluff. If this was written by a woman you think she was a lesbian or a bitch for saying shit about other women. It doesn’t mean its not true. Now I’m not defending what he said i am merely stating that even if he’s talking about most women it still doesn’t remove the fact that all women have done one or more of these things. Now when he or somebody else makes an article about all the things that me do you wont see REAL men complaining because we know the things we do and we know the things that women do and regardless of how good we think we are we are guilty of doing one or more of the things that are o said list even if its not written yet.
Women just need to stop thinking there shit don’t smell. Men accept the fact that we are dogs. why can’t women just agree that they are cats.
And the next time they write a list like this it better have both sides of the coin cause apparently you got to be politically correct and to have your own opinion and write what you wanted to say, you got to write something for people who might not like what you wrote.
You have to please everybody.
I hate stupid people!
No respect!!!
Haha loved it, read through the whole thing thinking: this guy knows me! Didn’t enjoy the sleeping with band people but I guess each to their own.
Now to show this to my boyfriend…
Tiffany, you just proved a few of those facts.
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