First, there's The Blank Stare'they have no idea what you're talking about. Then there's the silence, which lasts ' and lasts ' enough time for you to rethink the three glasses of champagne you've had.

Just as you're planning an escape route, he gives you this look'like you've somehow seen into his bedroom, circa high school. 'Once,' he says. 'Or maybe twice. It was weird.'

The confusion is palpable. I swear, I've had the exact same conversation with dozens of guys'all ages, all types. Sometimes I try to piece together the story.

Me: 'Did she say anything after she started crying?'

Him: 'Yep, she rolled over and said, 'I love you.'' (Ah-ha!)

Me: 'And what did you do next?'

Him: 'Nothing. Then she REALLY started crying.'

Sigh. Of course she did, dumb ass. YOU DIDN'T SAY 'I LOVE YOU' BACK. I suppose it might have been worse if you had slapped her and yelled 'why are you so ugly?!?' But, either way, waterworks were in order.

So women cry when you don't tell them you love them?

Um ' not exactly. Well, sort of. Okay, yes and no. Confused yet? Welcome to the female brain.

How do I know? Actually, I myself happen to be, uh, well, a crier. Do I cry all the time during sex? Hell, no! That's weird. But it has happened on (very special) occasions. And I'm betting that it's happened to you, as well, at least once.

The truth is, women cry during sex for different reasons, but it's easy enough to narrow them down if you know what to look for ' and, believe me, you'll want to know why. Let's clear up one thing. It is not, as my friend Ken believes, because 'they see God.' No. No, no, no. They see your nostrils. Or the ceiling, depending on your position. It's probably nothing physical at all, although I've heard some horror stories about pain'he's either too big, or he's slamming you against said headboard'but that's the rarity. And usually that doesn't result in actual crying, more of a wincing. If you can't tell the difference, you have bigger problems than your penis size.

So why are they crying? According to Lisa Jones of Men's Health, 'Crying is a mysterious release, sort of like an orgasm. It's usually about intimacy'as in, I'm feeling so close to you that I'm able to let go and express this burst of pure joy. In rare instances, it could be about lack of intimacy, too.'

She's right. Women, sex, love and some strong conflicting emotions can combine for a volatile explosion of tears'and if you're lucky, an orgasm too! Sex is emotional, or it can be. You won't find many women crying with one-night stands'they usually break down with men they care deeply about.

A friend of mine described his first experience with tears in bed: 'It was one of the most endearing and giving emotions that could be expressed during a lovemaking session by a woman. I believe a woman truly has to trust her partner in order to show such a sign of emotional openness and vulnerability.'

He hits on a key point there'crying is often about vulnerability, when you're falling deeply in love or you feel that your partner may be leaving you or you're just overwhelmed by the experience. When emotional intimacy matches physical intimacy, the result can be the most memorable and incredible lovemaking you can experience.

Just remember this: When she starts to tear up, don't stop what you're doing because you could very well be sleeping with a girl like my friend Lauren who sobs for joy every time she has an orgasm. Maybe they're that rare for her. Or, hey, who knows? Maybe she did see God.