It has to be said: female school teachers are the new male Catholic priests.

Sexual offenses committed by female teachers is at its peak, much like the libidos of the accused. While male teachers are (rightfully) lambasted for their sexual misconduct, women seem to get off much easier - literally and figuratively. And why, you ask? The answer is simple: older women seducing younger men is part of our culture, like it or not. Just ask Mrs. Robinson, or Stifler’s Mom.

South Park touched on the subject in “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy,” where Kyle’s little brother Ike has an affair with his Kindergarten teacher. The cops in the episode have a field day with the case, exclaiming “niiiiiiiiice” after hearing about the teacher’s naughty secret. Their point, however blurry, was well taken: everybody loves a sexed-up authoritative figure, within reason.

My point and solution? Horny teachers should wait, ever so patiently, until their prey graduates. If you’re into kids, you deserve to be locked up; if you’re into being the older lady for kicks, play your cards right, don’t break the law, and have at it like a jackrabbit.

We here at COED do not condone sexual misconduct by any means, unless said means consist of hot, willing and able teachers getting down with young studs. Just kidding…?

Check out 18 of America’s Sexiest Sex Offenders after the jump and vote! Read More »