In today’s “this is some serious bullsh*t” category, seven audience members were arrested this week, at two separate high school graduations in South Carolina, for cheering. No, they weren’t drunk or crazy, and calling out expletives during the valedictorian speech–one dude was just calling out his cousin’s name.

From MSNBC.com:

Six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct, authorities said. Police said the seven yelled after students’ names were called. Read More »

Son-of-a-b*tch! For some ridiculous reason, Texas has a law that forbids strippers from getting within 3-feet of their customers. (Do you know how far 3-feet is when boobs are involved?) And according to TheSmokingGun.com, because of this completely impractical law, they busted 18 innocent–I’m sure–women yesterday, who forgot to pack a tape measure in their g-string.

But it get’s worse.

Now that you’re properly pissed, I have to provide a disclaimer, before you peruse the gallery: Strippers aren’t always hot. The girl above is pretty fly, but at some strip clubs, that can be rare; just because she covers her body in glitter, that soft, sweet stripper smell, and takes off her clothes in the dark doesn’t mean she looks like a Pussycat Doll. Read More »

Kumari Fulbright, a UA law student and former beauty queen, kidnapped her ex-boyfriend and held him captive for 10 hours, tied and bound.

If this all sounds a bit kinky now, it won’t when you hear about the three dudes who assisted Fulbright in the kidnapping, robbing and torturing of her ex.

Fulbright and the three men held her ex hostage at two different locations, alternating between the North Side and Midtown Tuscon, Arizona. Wielding pistols, all four kidnappers stole cash and valuables from the guy while threatening to kill him.

Fulbright in particular went as far as to bite her ex several times (violently, mind you), holding a butcher knife up to his ear.

After 8 to 10 hours of being hostage, the ex was able to snatch Fulbright’s gun from her, sending off both a shot and the victim to authorities.

Fulbright and her accomplices are currently facing charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of aggravated assault.

For me, the most insane part of this story is that Kumari Fulbright used to model. Are models thin on the ground in Tuscon Michigan? Her face is wicked. Tranny, anyone?

As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is.

People are looking at Casey’s MySpace page, which has him at 17; his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal, who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money. It’s about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

- If he is 17, he is just another genius who knocked up a Spears girl and won the “K-Fed Lottery”

- If he is 18, there are some state statutes that would allow for a 2 year differentiation between consent and statutory rape

- If he is 19, he is f**ked Read More »

The New York Post reported that Philly’s fiesty, Emmy Award-winning anchorwoman Alycia Lane was arrested after calling a female cop a “dyke b*tch” then punching her in the face. Sexy anchorwoman meltdowns are so hot right now.

Lane, 35, was riding around with her boy-toy Chris Booker (also a media personality in Philly; he’s a DJ at Q102) when a slow-moving car in front of them (full of cops, natch) got on the couple’s nerves. Once the officers pulled over their cab and confronted the two rabblerousers Lane decided it would be a great idea to start snapping pictures of the incident as it unfolded.

Attitudes where shown, spots were blown, punches were thrown - pretty gangsta to say the least. Lane’s exact quote is as follows: “I don’t care that you’re a cop - dyke b*tch!”

All of this from an Emmy Award-winning anchorwoman. Read More »

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in jail on felony charges related to dogfighting after a shorter-than-expected hearing this morning.

In August Vick and his three co-defendants plead guilty for their affiliation with Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting group run out of a Virginia home in Vick’s name and approving the deaths of six to eight pit bulls that didn’t fight up to snuff. He faced a maximum sentence of 5 years but was expected to serve much less. Vick is also suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

One part of the morning that did go as expected was the media circus: by 8:00am dozens upon dozens of news sources, animal rights activists and Vick supporters were stationed around the courthouse, impatiently waiting for the verdict.

In related news, the Atlanta Falcons are 3-9 without Vick and will be attempting to recoup the $20 million bonus paid out to the quarterback.

Nothing says media hoopla more than a young, fresh-faced couple with major assets going above the law, enjoying themselves to the max, just to get arrested.

Edward Anderton and Jocelyn Kirsch, a couple from Philadelphia who both come from high-society backgrounds and prestigious schools, decided they didn’t have the means to support the lifestyle they so deserve - so they stole credit cards, passports and full-blown identities.

Using state-of-the-art technology, Anderton and Kirsch burglarized neighbor’s bank accounts and opened false credit lines, with most of the damage being done from their apartment. Read More »

• Recent studies show that it’s the lack of exercise, not body fat, that’s unhealthy.

• Experts break down the health pros and cons of drinking.

• Disappearing man reappears five years later, claiming amnesia when arrested for fraud.

• A gasoline tanker explodes in Everett, Massachusetts, leaving cars and buildings ablaze.

• Burglars in East Kansas City, Missouri make a big mistake when they unknowingly break into a police officer’s home.

All hail old-timey traditions that include things like…beer!

I’ve been trying for over 24 hours to enter this site. Now that it’s up and running, feast your eyes and taste buds on the future of pizza.

VIDEO: Fastest. Stripper. Ever. (Notice I only said fastest.)

I can barely carve an eye into a pumpkin, let alone the Death Star.

The family that drinks together, sinks together.

Somebody wanted a pony really bad. Somewhere in Scotland a Pixie is loose.

And the Minnesota Timberwolves wonder why they came up short against the Indiana Pacers.

Amy Fischer has a sex tape in circulation. Yeah, I forgot who she was too.

A German man narrowly escapes certain death by falling off a hotel balcony onto his beer belly, which saved his life. (Metro UK)

Homeless or Hipster? It’s always so hard to tell… (College Candy)

Old guy mistaken for mass-murderer Whitey Bulger gets arrested with his wife when on vacation in Italy. When in Rome… (WMTV)

Wonder why Brits get a bad rap for having really, really, really terrible teeth? This story may answer some questions. (Sky News)

You can’t make this stuff up: Fake Rangers Take Urine Samples From Boys (WGCL)

OMGZ UFOs ARE 4 REAL!! (Discovery)