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If America could be summed up in one day, that day is today, people!
With Super Tuesday, Fat Tuesday and Pancake Day all falling on the same date, we the people can now celebrate an exclusive, once in a lifetime tradition: Super Fat Pancake Day. Read More »
The following article satire is brought to you by the folks at COED:
I often find myself asking myself (is that a run on?) “where is the perfect location for meeting girls?”
Sure, clubs are often the first place that comes to mind, but my cute pick-up lines don’t always work well when attempting to talk over loud, fist-pumping music to orange-skinned girls from Staten Island.
A desperate fella like me must suck it up and meet girls the hard way: in real life. Read More »
Just in case you thought your lack of action must be from women getting theirs more frequently elsewhere, studies show that men still have more sexual partners than women.
The nationwide survey found “29 percent of American men report having 15 or more female sexual partners in a lifetime, while only 9 percent of women report having sex with 15 or more men.”
A rough translation? The average amount of lifetime sexual partners for guys is 7, while the average for women is 4.
Researchers claim this study of 6,237 adults, aged 20 to 59, is more effective than previous ones have been, since most of the research was done with a computer program. Read More »
It’s high-time at the local bar you’re attending. You’ve been pounding beers all night and have called on the almighty Car Bomb to bring the night to its peak.
Friends are laughing, liquor is flowing, girls are grinding on each other for your/their pleasure…a bar-based utopia has been created for all!
Classic times are being had - until your bladder waves a red flag, forcing you to miss all the action happening while you’re gone, if only for those few choice minutes.
Not much feels worse than having to go unload in the midst of a drunken good time - but what if your wobbly trip to the John awarded you with a few moments of total relaxation? U.S. Patent 6,681,419 (the Urinal Headrest) is hoping to alleviate your bathroom woes.
The Urinal Headrest is exactly that: a comfy headrest where your head can relax while you do your business.
In fact, the Toilet Headrest looks so comfortable that I would be hard-pressed to find anybody severely wasted even trying to leave its relaxing grip. Read More »
Every once in awhile I like going out to bars, clubs, you name it. Buuuuut, I am not yet 21 and I nowhere near look like I am. Because of my short stature, people frequently ask me if I am in high school (and one time even junior high).
I know, I know: in 20 years, I’ll be begging for people to think I’m in high school. But for right now, I just wanna pass as 21 so I can go out with my friends. Which is nearly impossible. I still get funny looks from waiters when I order off the adult menu.
So, I got a fake ID. I was lucky enough to inherit an actual old ID of a friend’s after she turned 21. While my friend and I look alike, she is 25 and 5′9. And yet, her ID has worked flawlessly time and time again, even when I don’t wear my seven-inch heels.
How does it work, you ask? I follow a few basic steps: Read More »
Summer is here! Time to whip out the bathing suit, hop in the pool and follow all of that fun with a perfect night of getting waaaaaaaaaaaaaaasted.
Which all sounds awesome until you wake up in the morning with the worst hangover of all time. After running to the bathroom to puke a twice and promising God that you will never drink again if he lets you make it through this pain, you return to your bed and contemplate just what will make this horrible feeling end.
Unfortunately, you are fresh out of Vicodin.
Lucky for you, there are other ways to get rid of the spins/headache/dry mouth/sore muscles/anything else that comes along with a hangover (besides the smokey smell in your hair and ugly dude lying next to you). Read More »
