Don’t worry, I almost forgot, too. So, to save you the pain I went through to not be a bad son, here’s a list of quick gift ideas to show your mom you care.

1. Start Her a Blog: Mom’s don’t want you blowing a bunch of cash on them. In fact, they’d probably prefer you didn’t spend any money at all. And of course, it’s the thought that counts. So start yourmomsname.wordpress.com. It’s free, it’s cool, it takes 15 minutes, and she’ll feel like the two of you are bonding. She can use it to keep you (and anyone else) up-to-date on family events, or start the next hotmilfs.com marthastewart.com!

Check out the rest of the list after the jump! Read More »

…And the whole f**king internet goes crazy!

On his little blog, while he was at the airport, John Mayer wrote 10 lines about how his ex-girlfriend should move on and leave him alone. Minutes after he posted it, half of the net and almost all of the gossip sites started guessing who it was. My question is, why does anyone care?

I write s**t about my ex all the time - Brooke, you really are a skank (just kidding…!) - and no one seems to care. Yet here is a dude who has banged half of the hotties and Hollywood and he is bitching that they keep calling him to get some?

Ok, John - maybe you need to realize how nice you have it. Maybe you should come up to Albany and find some dirty biatch (like Brooke) who will gob your nob and then b*tch about it for a semester. I will hang out at your posh midtown apartment and live the life of a millionaire bachelor. Read More »

At the premiere of Resident Evil: Extinction in Las Vegas Sylvester Stallone and his posse rolled up like “Whaaaaaaaaat…I’m Sly/Rocky/Rambo and this is my posse, son!”

Sly gave the Hollywood Reporter exclusive inside information on what will be the finest piece of cinema this millennium - John Rambo: In the Serpent’s Eye.

So, I’m assuming you clicked the link and heard all the leaked info. You’re ready to post all about it in your blog thingamabob, right?

Right? No?

Let me guess: you’re wondering, “What news? Nobody said anything worth reporting, and all Sly said was that ‘Rambo is in a very grumpy mood, and he’s gonna let it all out.’”

That’s all you need to know, truth-seeker - this isn’t The Darjeeling Limited.

Sly stating that Rambo is “very grumpy” in John Rambo is like hearing that God is “kinda-sorta mad” at mankind. January 25, 2008 can’t come soon enough.

I mean c’mon…take a look at the picture! Rambo versus a poisonous snake! A Rambo and snake stare-off! F*** it, this is the best movie ever already.

I despise Michael Bay - not because of his back catalog of overstuffed, budget-husking flicks (The Rock and Bad Boys were A-OK action fluff IMHO). There are hundreds-upon-hundreds of hacks in Hollywood; to pick out Bay as the single, solitary bane of moviemaking existence is plausible, but not probable.

I despise Michael Bay for being such a jaded, wishy-washy, temperamental p**** when backed into the proverbial corner by Paramount execs.

When the head-honchos at Paramount decided to ditch the blu-ray format and go HD-DVD exclusive Bay flipped his wig and posted a nasty blog about their poor decision and stepping down from his directorial duties on Transformers 2 - mere hours later his inspired rant was completely retracted.

The ending prose in his “updated” blog is pure pussing-out:

“As a director, I’m all about people seeing films in the best quality possible, and I saw and heard firsthand people upset about a corporate decision.

So today I saw 300 on HD-DVD, it rocks!

So I think I might be back on to do Transformers 2!”

Yay, Bay! “As a director” you’re sappier than Vermont’s Finest and about as “upset about a corporate decision” as anybody who has lined their pockets with millions directing big-budget, action-packed weep-a-thons. Read More »

Calling all bong-rippers: Mike Skinner of The Streets is holding a “bong-making” contest on the last stops on his tour. One lucky winner (stoner, engineer, Nintendo Wiid player - same thing) will receive a drum cymbal signed by Skinner and two VIP passes for his August 26 gig at the aptly-titled Get Loaded in the Park festival.

The winner will also share the stage with the U.K. MC during his set-closer, “The Irony of It All” - a song dedicated to the wonders of weed - to smoke up with him using the homemade bong. He better be the one supplying the sweet smoke…scruffy little scrounger.
Read More »