Hooters: Eat Fried Food, Feel the Misery

Hooters Girls

Hooters? Depressing? You don’t say. All I’ve ever had to do was take a look at the horrible orange and white paint job adorning the outside of most Hooters restaurants to know those places are a bevy of bad taste and depression.

Oh yeah, and fifteen year olds.

In my town, Hooters was the place adolescent boys with fake IDs and too much cologne spent their Friday nights when no one their own age would date them.

Hooters was the place high school’s biggest assholes went to feel superior to women who would never look at them in real life, as well as the place a friend’s friend once tried to work at but quit after some perv threw a popcorn shrimp at her boobs.

In conclusion: Hooters is drenched in grossness. Read More »

The Perfect Boob Is All About the Nips (According to Science)

boob

What factors make up the perfect breast?

In a previous article titled ‘Finding the Perfect Boobies’ Chris Sullivan described the perfect boob by saying, “if you have to cup your hand and there is titty touching all parts of your hand, from your finger tips to the heel of your mitt, then you have the perfect boob in your grasp.”

I value Chris’ opinion but I’m gonna need something a bit more scientific. So, we now turn to Patrick Mallucci, a leading tit job doctor, who at the first international conference on breast enlargement claimed he came up with a formula to finding the perfect boob.

Find out his formula after the jump! Read More »

Finding the Perfect Boobies

perfect boobs

A mans opinion on the female body differs from guy to guy. Some guys like legs, some guys like asses, some guys like boobies; some like all three. Some guys care about a girl’s eyes and smile - these men are known as gays in the straight community.

As a male who is sexually active throughout the community, I’ve seen all kinds of boobies and I have formed an opinion on what kind of titties are best. WOOooOOooOOoo for boobies! Read More »

World’s Hottest Female Sports Reporters

erin andrews title

I first saw this list of “World’s Hottest Female Sports Reporters” on hogwild.net and I loved it. Great pictures and hilarious commentary but the layout kills me. It’s all over the place so I decided to jazz it up a bit… you know add some galleries and such. Take a look at the orignal posting then read this one and decide for yourself what looks better.

Here it goes….

Today I would like to discuss one of the World’s Greatest Inventions… the Hot Female Sports Reporter.

REASON FOR INVENTION: To increase ratings. I mean, to provide up-to-the-minute sideline analysis of injuries, strategies, and mini-interviews... and to increase ratings. For the most part, these women are articulate and knowledgeable about sports. But for the most part, us men don’t care. Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!

First, I present to you, Erin Andrews:

<p>I wouldn’t mind diving head-first into that End Zone!</p>
Erin Andrews always carries the 3 essentials for sports reporting: Microphone, ear piece, and hairspray.
Erin Andrews hard at work makes me hard at work. HA HA HA! For some reason I really have a craving for oranges. Freshly squeezed oranges.
Read More »