COED Rant: Jewelry Sucks

June 23, 2008 - 4:00 pm , By A.D. - Columbia College

rdneck.jpg

I need to say this. Jewelry sucks. And I hate buying it for women and I think I’m done buying it forever–at least until I decide to get engaged. Honestly, is there a more useless thing on this planet then jewelry?

Completely ignoring the entire system of imbalance that permeates men/women romantic relationships when it comes to gift-giving and buying dinner etc, could I please get you something else? Something worthwhile. Something that doesn’t cost a fucking arm and leg to prove to you that I’m into you as a person?

Here’s some reasons why jewelry is stupid. Read More »

199869 clicks   Posted in News-ish
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Get Classy with a XYXX Condom Case

January 5, 2008 - 10:30 am , By John, USMA at West Point

XYXX Condom Case

Girls like dopey cute guys, but not the types that fumble around with condom wrappers and put the safety net on backwards. That’s not dopey or cute - it’s stupid and embarrassing.

Also, stuffing a pack of condoms in your pocket not only looks ridiculous (responsible, but ridiculous) but also may look quite unattractive to females. Would you be turned on by a girl with condoms visibly stuffed in her pants pocket? Don’t answer that. Read More »

827843 clicks   Posted in Sex, Style
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Vivica Fox Sex Tape: She Gets Down

January 3, 2008 - 9:25 am , By John, USMA at West Point

vivica foxWay to start 2008 off with a bang, Vivica!

It’s being reported confirmed that the still-very-hot Vivica Fox has a sex tape floating around the web - I’ll keep my eye out for it, I know - and she isn’t too happy about it.

The story goes a bit like this: Fox was drunk and getting frisky with some random dude in Atlanta. She proceeded to give the fellow a blo…well, she stimulated him orally. Acting like any anybody lucky enough to be orally serviced by Fox, the guy taped everything going down - on his cell phone.

After the deed was done he emailed the video to his friends, who emailed it to Fox, who contacted the Atlanta police department, and so on.

Fox wants the scandal to be handled privately. That request must’ve not fared well, considering that we’re talking about it (and awaiting a link to the tape).

All Fox rhymes with ***** jokes may start now.

418333 clicks   Posted in Entertainment, News-ish
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Wanna Go on a Crazy Blind Date?

November 20, 2007 - 9:45 am , By Jess - NYU

Crazy blind date

Blind dates can be scary. They can also be fun. The scary / fun part depends on your idea of a good time and your date’s idea of normal.

Most of us go on blind dates pretty confident we’re not about to meet our soulmate, but always hope there’s enough of a connection to make dressing up to impress worth it. Blind dates are our way of doing something fun and spontaneous, something slightly nerve wracking but full of possibilities, a reason to get out of the house or apartment and have a drink made by somebody else.

The only thing is, if you’re not big into internet profiles and don’t have a lot of friends trying to go all “Matchmaker’ on you, blind dates don’t actually happen that often.

That is, unless you sign up for Crazy Blind Date. Read More »

496401 clicks   Posted in Getting Out, Sex, Tech
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The Daily Shocker: Tom Hanks is Lost in MySpace

October 23, 2007 - 4:15 pm , By Josh - UMASS, Lowell

The Daily Shocker

Tom Hanks, 51, has a real down-to-earth, normal MySpace page, complete with tell-all blogs and video. And get this: he pimped out his profile all by himself! You know something’s wrong with the world when Tom Hanks is the second most-famous “Tom” on MySpace.

To safeguard yourself from knocking-up your girl turn to the Lady Comp, a device that detects if a girl is ovulating or not. It looks like an alarm clock. The future is now.

Some teachers teach, some have sexual relations with their students; others blow the f*** up on their students at the drop of a dime.

These analogies are surreal, like a Keebler elf skiing down a citrus mountain.

When an adolescent game of “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” is documented on a cell phone, child-on-child pornography happens.

Give the SNL actor/drummer some!

When your country is down and out the always-reliable “hot babes in bikinis” route works wonders.

326424 clicks   Posted in News-ish
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ICE Your Cell Phone NOW!

October 13, 2007 - 4:00 pm , By Steve - Seton Hall University

ICE

In an emergency Paramedics and EMTs will turn to a victim’s cell phone for clues to that person’s identity. You can make their job much easier with a simple idea that they are trying to get everyone to adopt: ICE.

“ICE” stands for In Case of Emergency. If you add an entry in the contacts list in your cell phone under ICE, with the name and phone number of the person that the emergency services should call on your behalf, you can save them a lot of time and have your loved ones contacted quickly. It only takes a few moments of your time to do.

Paramedics know what ICE means and they look for it immediately.

ICE your cell phone NOW! All the cool college whipper-snappers are doin’ it!

185216 clicks   Posted in School’d
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Upgrading My Life after College: Laptops

August 8, 2007 - 10:06 am , By Editor

laptop back to school

I am a college graduate. Ew, even after 4 days of being able to say that, I still don’t like the sound of it. But I have sort of, kinda, come to grips with beginning this new phase of life.

In my ploy to stay uber busy while at home in the Midwest to avoid boredom or a meltdown during this limbo post-graduation phase, I have been on a cleansing mission. I feel that some things just need to go once you are not a college co-ed anymore.

Example A: Abercrombie and Fitch clothes. Yesterday, I sifted through my whole wardrobe and exiled all clothes with the logo splashed across the front or any items that blatantly looked like they came from a scene in the catalog. Yes, this was hard, but I felt it was time.

Example B: Laptops. This is the example that I am still figuring out and need help. I have had the same laptop (Dell Inspiron 5100) for the past four years, and let me tell you, it now seems as ancient as the ridiculously large Zack Morris cell phone. I mean, come on, I am a blogger for the hottest website, College Candy, and feel embarassed to sit with my clunker of a computer at Starbucks. This is unacceptable. Read More »

184553 clicks   Posted in After College, Features, Guy's Room, Random Crap
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Hooking Up 3.0: Mobile Dating

July 2, 2007 - 6:20 pm , By COED Staff

mobileDid you know that millions of people have been using their cell phones as a dating service? Um yeah, well I just heard about it too. Absolutely proposterous, right?!

With the rise in popularity of online dating now at an all-time high, it’s not news to anyone that we have access to just about anything, literally right at our fingertips. From finding directions, to ordering take-out, to searching for a job, to making celebrities out of nobodies, the internet does everything for us, including helping us hook up.

And as the good old web has joined forces with Blackberrys and Palm Pilots and all the other freaks of technology that seem to do everything in the name of communication, cell phones can now be used to access dating services from anywhere at anytime - making the booty call or booty graze that much more convenient for everyone! Yes, hard to believe, but it is now even easier to have casual, spur-of-the-moment sex. Read More »

131234 clicks   Posted in Features, Guy's Room
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