Stephen Colbert’s Strange Request To The Princeton’s Class of 2008

“Gandhi said, ‘you must be the change you want to see in the world,’” Stephen Colbert told an audience of thousands at the Class Day ceremony this afternoon. “But may I also point out he drank his own urine, so let’s not go overboard on his advice.”

The host and executive producer of “The Colbert Report” and a one-time presidential candidate in his home state of South Carolina, Colbert drew laughter and applause from the assembled senior class and their families as he poked fun at Princeton traditions and urged the class to maintain the status quo after graduation.

Though the Class of 2008 “can change the world,” Colbert said, he pleaded with its members to “please don’t do that.”

“Some of us like it the way it is,” he explained. “Personally, things are going great for me right now.” [The Daily Princetonian]

The Funniest Name In College Football

Rivals of Marshall football and sports blogs around the country are going to have a field day with this guy, once football season rolls around. What were his parents thinking? I almost feel badly for him. [Losers With Socks]

Nine Signs He’s a Frat Guy

The darker it is, the more beer that’s present, the more likely it is that girls will be back-humped by a frat guy. It’s the frat boy’s way of saying, “Hello, I’m drunk and you have a vagina, please let me stimulate my penis while grinding on you.” Because this usually takes place in a dark basement, it means it’s somehow OK. Most don’t even mind that you can feel their aroused penis slithering over your leg while dancing at a party.

He’s probably a frat guy if… [CollegeOTR]

Among the students earning degrees from the University of Pittsburgh this spring, there was one famous honoree: “Dr. Dan.”Better known as former Miami Dolphin and Pitt quarterback, Dan Marino was the guest speaker at Pitt’s commencement ceremony, where 4,317 undergraduate, master’s and doctoral students officially became alumni.

Chancellor Mark A. Nordenberg awarded Pitt alumnus Marino an honorary doctoral degree in broadcast journalism, making him the first graduate in Pitt’s Class of 2008. Marino said that he will make sure his colleagues at CBS’s “The NFL Today” will know of his accomplishment.

“Now they have to refer to me as Dr. Dan,” said Marino.

Nordenberg introduced Marino to the crowd in the Petersen Events Center as an outstanding football player, Panther and person.

“He has excelled in his current role, not because he threw 420 touchdown passes, but because he is intelligent, articulate and analytical, the qualities of a well-educated person,” said Nordenberg.

Marino, a member of both the Pro Football and NCAA halls of fame, graduated from Pitt’s School of Arts and Sciences in 1983. He reflected on his Oakland upbringing and the years he spent at Pitt. [Pitt News]

San Diego State University Chick Hits Batting Cages

Since the mainstream media is focusing on the bad side of San Diego State University, we figured it was time to shed a little light on the good going on for the Aztecs.

The good is named Jessica B., and she is in the running for the 2008-2009 Tempe12 cover model job. We dig this chick because she likes sports–especially baseball. Check out the rest of her pictures: [Busted Coverage]

‘Generation Debt’ Afflicting Students

Kolby Lanning has borrowed $55,000 in student loans to finance his first three years at the University of Kansas. He will have borrowed $200,000 more by the time he completes his senior year and dental school at the University of Missouri at Kansas City, Mo.

Adding in the compounding interest on his unsubsidized loans, the Independence junior figures he will owe about $300,000 when he begins his career as a dentist in 2011.

“It’s hard to believe your debt can add up that much in such a short amount of time,” said Lanning. “I guess I never really took the interest into consideration.” [University Daily Kansan]