If there was any drug in the entire world that doesn’t need a medical breakthrough to fix the side-effects it’s cocaine, the drug of denial. Crack and heroin may be worse, but cocaine is considered classy and cool, unfortunately.

Cocaine is only for douchebag losers who can’t get laid without packing dust into a teenager’s nasal passage - or for idiot young-adults who think they’re “in control,” which is hard to determine when their nose and body could be blown away by a slight wind.

Don’t even get me started on a cokehead’s total lack of social skills (read: SHUT THE F*** UP AND STOP BEING SO TWITCHY AND JITTERY).

But there’s hope for the hopeless: Plastic surgeons have decided to ditch the wonders of boobie-building for far more important endeavors, like fixing some young slut’s “cocaine nose” (the disintegration of the septum due to excessive drug-snorting). Read More »