Bring the Party Home (For Under $150!)

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Hi and welcome to the dead zone of summer. After partying it up on the fourth, the festiveness dies down and your party schedule is wiiiiide open. There are, of course, the random parties and local events to keep you entertained, but for the most part the excitement is dead and the big stuff is over.

With nothing going on, why not bring the party to your place? Cocktails, sun, friends and your bed within reach? What could be better?

Of course, entertaining requires a little prep, but it is a lot easier (and cheaper!) than you think. Below is a handy dandy guide on how to turn your humble abode into the summer hot spot. And all for less than $150. Let’s get started.
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Adopt a Stripper

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With the economy slowing grinding to a halt, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, gas prices rising and the US dollar tanking, American’s are spending less on ‘luxury items’–and strippers are starting to feel the pinch. Thing is, stripping still brings home the bacon better than most jobs out there, so more and more women are opting to take it off in the name of self-preservation. Read More »

My First All-Nighter

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My first all-nighter at the end of my freshman year taught me some important lessons about what my mind and body is capable of when placed under the stress that is going without sleep for more than 24 hours.

1) Between 3 and 5 a.m. I’m incapable of forming coherent sentences on paper and possibly aloud. I have some stellar thoughts, complex ideation that I’m incapable of during normal waking hours. But when it comes to recording them, I have the language capability of a non-Einstein like fourth grader writing about quantum physics.

It’s funny in retrospect, but it makes me want to jab a pencil in my eye when I need that thought to get me through a paragraph or two at 6 a.m., when I’m able to write again.

2) Hot chocolate disappoints like no other, as it’s more of a distraction than an aide in concentration. Marshmallows - either their presence or the mere of idea of them melting sugary goodness in your cup - are the funnest thing ever when you’ve been studying pre-colonial African history for seven hours.

Coffee will never let me down, but hot chocolate is more of a party in my mouth kind of beverage and not quite the upper I wanted and needed it to be.

3) If I end the 24 hour no-sleep-athon with a 20 minute run, upon beginning my cool down, I will have an orgasm. Read More »

Brew Review: Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout

Espresso stoutI’ve been hearing all this talk about Espresso Stouts lately, so I decided to give them a shot…of espresso! Get it? Isn’t that funny? Shot, espresso…forget it.

If you’re into “desert” beers, Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout will be right up your alley. As for me, the brew left my stomach feeling…bloated. I’m a dude. Dudes are not supposed to say words like “bloated,” but there I was, belly filled with creamy suds and regret.

I think I crapped about 10 minutes after drinking my first (but not last) Espresso Stout. Is my metabolism to blame, or does this concoction take richness to a new level nobody asked for?

Keep in mind that I usually fare well with stouts. I can admire the Espresso Stout’s dark chocolate color and roasted malt flavor, but I’d rather pound a few Sam Adams Cream Stout if I’m going that route. Beer connoisseurs may scoff, but that’s the way I feel.

I’ve also heard claims that Espresso Stouts are light and refreshing; maybe they usually are. All I know is that my experience with them wasn’t light or refreshing. Heavy and sh*t-inducing? Absolutely.

Maybe I had a bad batch…or four. Or maybe I shouldn’t have drank more than one desert beer. It’s probably my fault. Give them a shot…!

Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout stats:

Tastes like: chocolate malt, with heavy emphasis on espresso

Smells like: strong coffee

Alcohol content: 7.5 percent; be careful chugging these bad boys…