The College Sutra: COED’s University Sex Guide

In case you’ve never heard of it, the Kama Sutra is a book and I’ve lost some of you right at the word ‘book,” haven’t I? Wait, wait … let me finish. The Kama Sutra is a book about sex. Welcome back, my friends, welcome back. Written in a year I can’t remember, by a guy whose name I can’t spell (and am not going to look up), the Kama Sutra is today still considered one of the foremost guides on how to have sex. And if that wasn’t enough, there are pictures. Dirty pictures. Lots and lots of dirty pictures.

But what, you’re probably asking yourself, do the Kama Sutra and college have in common? That’s a good question indeed.

There are three sections to the Kama Sutra but only four years in college. Coincidence? Hardly. Poor math skills by a comedy writer who’s borderline retarded? Much more likely. But if you took the Kama Sutra and college life and mixed them together in say, a humorous article, I think you’d get something like this. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the “College Sutra.” Read More »

5 Awful Sleeping Habits of a Random Hook-up

Being the sexually active, irresponsible college student that I am, I’ve gone home with my fair share of random girls, and over the past couple of years I’ve come across some sleeping habits that annoy the hell out of me. Nothing is worse than having a peaceful night’s sleep ruined by your hookup’s uncontrollable unconscious tendencies.

These night time nuisances can also lead to a couple of sticky situations. If you’re at her place you can always leave, but what if you’re miles from home and it’s four in the morning and you don’t feel like walking and don’t have the number for a cab? What do you do then? And if you’re at your place how should you handle it? Do you wake her ass up and hope she doesn’t start again when she falls back to sleep, or can you just kick someone out at that point? Is it really that mean if you call and pay for a cab? There’s also the high road; sacrifice your night’s sleep, suck it up and wait for morning when she’ll wake up and leave on her own.

The worst part is, you can’t look at a person and guess that these are coming, no matter the size, shape, or color of the girl anyone could potentially be an awful bed partner, and rarely do they warn you that something might be coming. That should be a common courtesy, like warning someone that you have HPV.

But I digress. Anyway, here are five habits that annoy me more than most: Read More »

COED’s Celebrity STD Guessing Game

We now know why 26 percent of New Yorkers have the herpes virus.

They don’t wrap it up!

Despite a campaign to raise awareness for safe sex and new statistics that prove herpes and the AIDS virus are running rampant in NYC, a recent study shows that 40 percent of New Yorkers with multiple sex partners did not use a condom last time they had sex, according to a health department study that polled 10,000 adults. [AM/NY, 6/25/08]

Let’s celebrate this depressing fact by making light of it!

After the jump check play COED’s Celebrity STD Guessing Game. Read More »

Americans Suck at Sex… According to Durex Global Survey

The results of the 2007/2008 Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey results are in - and we Americans should be sad.

Americans spend nearly three hours every week grooming themselves, but less than one hour on foreplay and sexual intercourse. It’s no wonder that only 46% of us describe our love lives as exciting, or existent for that matter.

On average, Americans spend 35 minutes on foreplay and sexual intercourse each session. And since we have sex once every 4.3 days, that averages out to about 57 minutes per week – 14 minutes below the global average.

Durex also revealed that Americans are having a lot less sex than just about everyone else in the world, and when we do, less than half are fully satisfied. Great job, U.S.

Americans have sex just 85 times a year (about once every 4.3 days), well below the global average of 103 times (about once every 3.5 days), with only the Japanese (48 times), residents of Hong Kong (82 times) and Nigerians (84 times) having less sex.

Key findings about Americans compared to the world after the jump! Read More »

Steps to Take When the Condom Breaks

Plan B

So you’re having great sex and the condom breaks. Maybe you kept it in your wallet too long, or it’s old, or she was a little dry…whatever the case, you need to act quickly.

First thing, you need to pick up Plan B.

Plan B is an emergency contraceptive that can still prevent a pregnancy after contraceptive failure, unprotected sex, or sexual assault. It should be taken within 3 days (72 hours) of unprotected sex and can reduce the risk of pregnancy by up to 89%. But the sooner you take it the more effective it will be.

Anyone over the age of 18 can buy the pill at a local Planned Parenthood for about $30. To find a local Planned Parenthood go online to their website or hit up Google Maps. Read More »

Video Trifecta: Condom Commercials

Video Trifecta

On any other day seeing a bunch of commercials would really piss me off. But this next set of condom commercials will have to ROTFL!

I just abbreviated “rolling on the floor laughing”… someone kill me.

condom commerical 01 condom commerical 02 condom commerical 3

Check out the videos after the jump! Read More »

Is Hot Tub Sex Bad For You?

Hot Tub SexThe hot tub: thought by many to be the ultimate in places to have sex. It’s comfortable, relaxing, heated - it’s the aquatic equivalent of a vagina! So why should you not have sex in one?

According to studies by a (virgin) urologist, hot tub humping may not be very safe.

The old rumor of man becoming infertile after too many trips to the tub has been proven correct - but how long must you stay in the water? A week? If your testicles have been heated up to a rolling boil, yes - you should probably get out of the hot tub.

It’s also common knowledge that yes, you can get a girl pregnant in a hot tub. Wear a condom, Aquaman, and all of your troubles will be gone.

In other words, don’t let anybody - scientists, urologists, virgins, moms - deprive you of performing the ultimate. As a man it’s your god-given right to experience hot tub sex. Read More »

The Daily Shocker: Campbell’s Cream of Condom

The Daily Shocker

I’m Coming…To Dinner: Family in Denver finds condom in their Campbell’s soup can. Cream of Mushroom, indeed. (Denver Post)

OMG!??!!!!??!: Tila Tequila’s MTV show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, in her words: “GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????” So many exclamations, so little time. (Idolator)

Expensive “O” Face: Beautiful Agony is a paid-subscription site that allows you to watch chicks and dudes orgasm…from the neck up. Well, at least Faces of Porn is free. (Beautiful Agony)

Kindred Sprits: Infamous YouTuber “itschrisrocker” lashes out at Britney haters with venom (and complete, unfiltered insanity). (YouTube)

SCALE-BREAKING NEWS: People are fat in certain neighborhoods due to lack of “walking amenities.” This quote came from an “exercise enthusiast,” mind you. (CNN)