NAOMI SMASH! Naomi Campbell’s Uncontrolable Rage Strikes Again!

naomi_campbell.jpgFresh off her community service sentence in 2007 for beaming her maid’s face with a diamond incrusted blackberry, Naomi Campbell is back in the courthouse. Apparently, she unleashed the fury on a couple of people after an airline lost her bags.

From CNN.com:

The Supermodel has been sentenced to 200 hours of community service after pleading guilty to assaulting two police officers following an “air rage” incident at London’s Heathrow Airport…

Prosecutors described how Campbell kicked and spat at police, used foul language and accused airline personnel of racism after she was told that one of her bags had not been placed on the British Airways flight to Los Angeles on 3 April. The London-born model was also ordered to pay $400 to each of the police officers she attacked and $300 to Miles Sutherland, the captain of the British Airways plane she disrupted, in addition to a $4,600 fine. 

The best part? As part of her last conviction, she was forced to attend anger management. Guess those didn’t really work out, huh?

(Image source: ilromanziere.com)

Tampa Jurors Forced To Watch Hardcore Porn

maxhardcore.jpg Oh Tampa, everything you do makes us laugh (at you). Apparently, a panel of jurors in a Tampa court was forced to watch “extreme hardcore porn” in court, while deliberating whether or not California pornographer, aptly named Max Hardcore (aka Paul F. Little), violated any criminal obscenity laws.

From Tampa Bay Online:

Today, U.S. District Judge Susan Bucklew decided federal prosecutors can show excerpts of the movies, rather than the DVDs in their entirety, as they put on their case. Defense lawyers for Max Hardcore, whose real name is Paul F. Little, argued that jurors need to see the entirety of the movies because the repetition of the acts is a necessary component.

“Over a period of time, the shock is blunted,” defense lawyer Jeffrey J. Douglas said. “That is part of the presentation. That is part of the DVD.”

Federal prosecutor Lisamarie Freitas argued that the defense is trying to “desensitize” jurors.

Defense attorneys decided they will show the jurors the remainder of each movie as part of its cross examination. Read More »

Michael Vick Sentenced to 23 Months in Jail

Michael Vick jail arrested court

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in jail on felony charges related to dogfighting after a shorter-than-expected hearing this morning.

In August Vick and his three co-defendants plead guilty for their affiliation with Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting group run out of a Virginia home in Vick’s name and approving the deaths of six to eight pit bulls that didn’t fight up to snuff. He faced a maximum sentence of 5 years but was expected to serve much less. Vick is also suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

One part of the morning that did go as expected was the media circus: by 8:00am dozens upon dozens of news sources, animal rights activists and Vick supporters were stationed around the courthouse, impatiently waiting for the verdict.

In related news, the Atlanta Falcons are 3-9 without Vick and will be attempting to recoup the $20 million bonus paid out to the quarterback.

The Daily Shocker: Way to Go, Jena Six

The Daily Shocker

Way to go, Jena Six: your copycats are even more ignorant than you racist pricks. (WCBSTV)

Way to go, Jena Six: you’ve ruined Halloween for the rest of us. (Des Moines Register)

Hey fellas, measure your wang accurately with the “phallumeasure.� (College Candy)

A Californian dentist feels around for cavities…in women’s heaving chest cavities. (My58)

Doctors tell London fatties to take a hike. (UK Metro)

WATCH OUT FOR INCOMING PUMPKIN TORPEDOES! (United Press)

The Daily Shocker: Players Gonna Play, Ballers Gonna Ball

The Daily Shocker

Ladies be warned: you can’t change a player’s game in the 9th inning. (NY Post)

When violators of driving laws are stopped, Illinois will take their toll. (Chicago Sun-Times)

A Headmaster in the U.K. school system says children should have “a daily dose of fear.” When reached for comment, Severus Snape didn’t return calls immediately. (DailyMail)

Women directors help raise bottom line in businesses, among other things… (Reuters)

“Happy Birthday, mom!” “Thank you very much, my two 30-something sons with outstanding moral fiber! Now cut the cake…I said THE CAKE!!” (Sun-Times)

LiLo Avoids Felony Charges; Gets Wrist Firmly Slapped

Linsday Lohan

If there is any lesson to be learned from the charges filed against Lindsay Lohan, it’s that you should always, always shove every last crystal of cocaine up your nose before cops pull you over. That way you won’t get charged for possession…?

LiLo has been charged with seven misdemeanors (and zero felonies - more on that in a bit) from her two counts of DUI, adding up to a grand total of four days in jail if she is found guilty on all accounts. Read More »

Foxy Brown Going to the Pound

Foxy Brown

After violating her probation rapper Foxy Brown, three-months pregnant, will be serving time in the pen until her next court date, scheduled for September 7. Following the footsteps of recent preggo-prisoners, Brown is set to stay in a cell by herself, akin to having a dorm-room to herself.

Terrible, simply terrible.

The BlackBerry bludgeoner will not only have a room all her own but an escort for those pesky times in between…serving time. Just like real jail, but more un-jail like.

Maybe now the “Ill Na Na” can catch up on some TV.