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He Said/She Said: He Took The Number and Never Called

hotspot-6.jpgMy friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.

It wasn’t until the sun started coming up (and she realized she had to be at her internship in the AM), that they realized how long they had been out there. He took her number, gave her a kiss and went on his merry way. She was excited…until a week went by with no word from him.

She couldn’t understand what happened. I couldn’t help her, either. So, I turned to experts in the field of douchey boys: my guy friends. They have helped before - I was sure they could explain the situation this time, too.

He Said:
When a guy asks a girl for her number and never calls back, a few things might be happening. First, he might have been involved in a fatal beer bong accident, and be buried six-feet under by the time the obligatory three days have passed. But that’s unlikely.

Another, more likely, option is that after he sobered up, he realized that the girl was actually some type of human-beast hybrid and his buddies asked him WTF he was thinking, pretty much eliminating any chance of getting in touch. Or he just forgot he’d gotten the girl’s number altogether until it was too late. Drinking might be a good social lubricant, but it’s not the best ingredient for long-term planning. Read More »

Are You Whipped? Here Are The Signs

Two weeks ago, a buddy of mine (we’ll call him Ted) wasn’t allowed to attend a “Penthouse party” on the upper east side.

Why?

His girlfriend wouldn’t let him. It was a glorified house party on a rooftop, but since the word “Penthouse” was used she cracked the whip.

Long story short, the kid is whipped unlike anything I’ve ever seen–and he has no idea. You could write a movie called Whipped and he would be the main character. His Facebook relationship status literally says married (they’ve only been dating six months) and yet he’s in the dark about his whippage–as a man, it’s just damn sad.

If you have a girlfriend, AskMen’s Top 10 Signs You Are Whipped is an absolute must read because like Ted you might be blind to your whippeage.

He Said/She Said: The Three-Day Rule

phone.jpgAnother week, another issue to dissect. This week we ask our resident male what he thinks of the infamous Three-Day Rule. Do guys really follow it? Do they really believe it? Should we all put our phones/laptops away for 72 hours until it is “safe” to contact our love interest? Or, just like all rules, is this one meant to be broken?

He Said:
Hmmm. The three-day rule is an interesting phenomenon, and while, like most of these ‘rules,’ I don’t think one needs to hold to it exactly, it does make sense. Basically what you want to do is send a message that you aren’t a completely desperate freak or some over-obsessed ‘I made a doll with your hair’ stalker. This goes for both men and women. Calling right after a date, while direct, says more then just ‘lets get together!’ It says ‘I have nothing to do, ever!’ And that is a warning sign.

One thing that isn’t often mentioned about what we look for in gals is if they have friends and a solid base of activities and hobbies. The last thing we want (assuming we are well-adjusted) is some girl who constantly calls us with updates on her location, what she had for lunch, and what flavor toothpaste she’s considering. We want someone who can go out on a date, have a good time, and then maybe the next day hang out with her friends, or spend some time with their mom, or even just read a book by herself. As someone who values solitude, a girl who likes time alone is very attractive, because it means I will also get time alone. Read More »

Love Knows No Bound(ries): Falling for a Foreign Hottie

costarica.jpg

The world is getting smaller. The combination of an increasingly rapid advancement of technology and the expansion of the global market has created a world in which…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We’ve all heard this before, and quite frankly, it’s old news. The real story isn’t the world getting smaller, it’s the fact that the dating scene is getting bigger.

With the growing popularity of studying abroad and the numerous travel opportunities presented to students the chances of meeting your soul-mate are getting better. We’re no longer stuck scouring classes, the library, or a bar for potential hook-ups; given a couple of months overseas (or weeks in some cases) and a cursory understanding of a foreign language the number of places to meet the next Mr. or Mrs. Right are almost endless. Read More »

How To Be A Dick: Dating Dos and Don’ts

Women like guys who are dicks. It’s a fact. But they don’t like it all the time. The trick is knowing when and how to be a dick. You don’t wanna be a dick to the point of being a bad person, and breaking a girl’s heart. Forget about that crap–only pussies are big dicks.

There is a certain degree of eloquence involved with being the right kind of dick. The kind that will keep a girl interested; the kind that will keep you with the upper hand. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but the lines between the very serious levels of dickhood are fine, so here are some do’s and don’t’s to keep you on track.

DON’T ever insult a girl on her looks. But don’t compliment her daily, either.

DO toss her compliments that are sincere and when they are warranted. You know, when she actually does look exceptionally beautiful.

Check out the rest of the list after the jump! Read More »

Single and Lonely on V-Day? Send Morrissey Cards to Those You Love… or Loathe

Morrissey

Although I find myself resisting at times, it’s hard to truly knock The Smiths. Morrissey, the saddest sack of the 80s (take that, I’m Your Man-era Leonard Cohen!) has influenced the lion’s share of emo Cub Scouts that sing sob stories today. But why listen to the shrill, pompous vocals of Bright Eyes when Moz can give you a metric-ton of sadness in just one verse?

The folks at Viva Moz must’ve wondered the same thing, thus creating a line of Morrissey Valentine’s Day cards. That’s right: the Pope of Mope, not exactly known for being optimistic, has cards bearing his choice verses to be sent on the most romantic of holidays. Read More »

Feigning Interest on a Date

Have you ever been forced to feign interest while on a date with a hot girl? She’s just hot enough to keep you pretending to care? This song is a tribute to the issue of feigning interest on dates.

The end is awesome.

(Via Break)

Learn How to Get Laid in NYC

paul jankaPaul Janka claims to have written the book on having sex in NYC - and he actually has. It’s called Getting Laid in NYC.

Janka recently did an interview with the New York Post where he breaks down 120 “conquests” and goes into detail about how he works his mastery.

His tips make sense in the big picture, but some criticism is expected from anybody who considers themselves a pick-up artist/expert on getting laid.

When comparing NYC to other big cities and explaining his success Janka says, “I think part of the reason I wrote ["Getting Laid in NYC"] is none of this would work in Boston or LA. Here there’s not enough guys to go around that meet the criteria of the three s’s: straight, single and solvent.

I just have exposure in New York. I’ll walk down the block and like at rush hour, literally a dozen or 20 [girls] will pass me, each one is attractive in her mid-20’s, each one is single and lonely and it’s unbelievable, it’s like Jesus, I don’t know what these other guys are doing to try to get into these girls’ pants, but this is like a layup town.”

If you fit his “3 S” criteria read his New York Post interview and hit the town this weekend. (COED is not responsible for women slapping you across the face or throwing drinks on your dress shirt.)

Top 7 Locations to Meet Single Girls

The following article satire is brought to you by the folks at COED:

Top 7 Locations to Meet Single Girls

I often find myself asking myself (is that a run on?) “where is the perfect location for meeting girls?”

Sure, clubs are often the first place that comes to mind, but my cute pick-up lines don’t always work well when attempting to talk over loud, fist-pumping music to orange-skinned girls from Staten Island.

A desperate fella like me must suck it up and meet girls the hard way: in real life. Read More »