The Bottle: Pernod Absinthe Returns!

If you know anything about the mischievous “Green Fairy,” you know “real” absinthe was banned in the U.S. for nearly a century because of the hallucinogenic ingredients in worm wood, from which absinthe is partially made. But unless you’ve been paying close attention to ordinances passed at The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB), you might have missed some of the newly legalized “true absinthe” on the State-side market.

After studies found that the quantity of thujone (the mind-altering substance in wormwood) too minuscule to cause any of its infamous effects, the TTB allowed absinthe to be sold in the U.S., with restrictions on the amount of thujone a stipulation. So for the first time since 1915, let me present to you Pernod, a “real” absinthe.

Neon green, extremely high in alcohol content and flavored like black licorice, absinthe requires a tempered tongue to enjoy properly. I learned of absinthe long before trying it for the first time, which I did in what could have been Jesus’s bedroom–a stone, candle-lit, cave of a bar in Jerusalem, Israel.

All I knew was that it f**ked you up, and some of the greatest artists of all time - Van Gogh, Picasso, Hemmingway (to name a few) - all are known absinthe drinkers, and have recorded experiences with the beverage in their work.

I’d been lucky enough to have the press trip to this tumultuous land pawned off on me by my boss, who’d just had a baby and was afraid of going to a “war zone.” But instead of suicide bombings, I found myself awash in great food, wonderful company and better booze.

Despite a travel itinerary fit for the Special Forces, some of the other 12 or 13 journalists and I found the energy to drink until dawn every morning. So with only a single night in the most disputed city on Earth, we ventured out to discover Jerusalem’s bar scene, and found ourselves at the first, dark joint we came to in this strange, haunted city.

With glasses of wine from dinner and a beer or two sloshing in my stomach, I stumbled behind a few of my fellow compatriots on the way to the bar, blathering away beside a newspaperman from the Jerusalem Post, who was covering our trip, for some reason. The quote he used wasn’t bad, compared to some of the sh*t I drunkenly mumbled into his microphone. Read More »

COED Vault: 9 Essential Summer Dude-Drinks

Ah, summer–a time to enjoy the outdoors, soak in some sun, check out chicks and drink till you can’t even find your car keys, let alone use them. (That’s what we call responsible.) Trouble is, sex on the beach and tequila sunrises sound summery, but any dude who drinks them should be beaten with a bar stool.

So to avoid any incidental injury this summer, stick to COED’s refreshing list of 9 Essential Summer Dude Drinks. If there’s even a splash of pink in these cocktails, you can kick our asses.

(Click on the pic for ingredients and recipes.)

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Young, Fabulous, and Broke: How to Survive Without Much Green

23524061.jpgOf course there would be a clothing designer to capitalize off the twenty-something lifestyle. Young, Fabulous, and Broke is another high-end label that produces denim pricing-out around a quarter of my monthly rent and a cute little dress for my bi-weekly food budget.

Awesome! I can advertise the truth at last!

There’s no shame in being le broke, whether you’re in college or just out of it. The trick is to live it up without blowing through your checking account. Truthfully, the percentage of recent college grads making bank isn’t that high, we just have a lovely little tendency to live beyond our means and lack patience.

Label whores, I address you first. I’m one of you. The trick here is to get the look without going broke. Sales are where it’s at.

Instead of shopping consistently, go less often and go for classic pieces. Hit up outlet malls (there are some fantastic ones out there. In the tri-state area, I fully endorse Woodbury Commons, where I snagged a pair of Dior shades for $60 this summer and have seen BCBG at 75% off), wait until end-of-season, whatever. If it must be designer, you can tough it out until you can afford it. Trendpieces are best left to Forever21 and H&M. Read More »

You Wanna Be a Baller/Shot Caller?

Shot Caller

You’re in the midst of Power Hour (one shot of beer every minute for an hour) and “one of your idiot friends” (read: you) lost track of time. Nobody knows when the next shot should be taken. It’s instances like this when you could use a stopwatch - or better.

Enter the Shot Caller.

Let’s cut to the quick: the Shot Caller is a glorified stopwatch that conveniently keeps time while playing Power Hour, or any other drinking game that requires you to constantly remember when one minute has passed. You can set up the Shot Caller to buzz off every minute for an hour (or up to 100 minutes if you’re brawny enough to take the challenge). Completing the Shot Caller package are four “regulation-size” shot glasses emblazoned with the companies’ logo.

For $15 the Shot Caller is a great deal, and a perfect gift for your friend who hosts the pre-game at his house every week. Honor his existence and the Power Hour tradition in one fell swoop.

The Daily Shocker: Kamikaze Squirrel Destroys Car!

The Daily Shocker

Story of the year thus far: a squirrel in suburban New Jersey gnaws on an electric wire, bursts into flames, plummets down into an unsuspecting car’s engine compartment and blows it up. (NJ.com)

Cocktail Psychology: what does your drink say about you? (College Candy)

USF Bulls have become the underdogs to watch in college football. (The Big Lead)

Britney Spears runs over a paparazzo’s foot. This marks the first time in months that Brit’s not the most hated person in a story about herself. (YouTube)

Deaf rapper Terry Richards throws up different kinds of signs. (Stuff)

What is “Cuddle Rape?”

Cuddle RapeBeing a nice guy means many things to a girl - “cute,” “fun to go out with,” “a real good friend” - but it almost never means “I want to bring you back to my place and proceed to ****, ****, and **** every last **** of your **** followed by the best ******* ever.”

Nice guys like my friend (let’s call him “Michael”) tailgate not football games, but Shakespeare in the Park in hopes of laying pipe.

Michael is the type of guy that goes out for drinks with large groups of horny girls that reveal to him every filthy, slutty thought women have (for kicks, right ladies?). He will go on several dates with a chick that won’t even give him a complimentary handjob for his troubles. Michael is a real swell guy who ladies could bring home to their parents without a hitch.

Nice guys like Michael are the biggest victims of the dreaded cuddle rape. Read More »

End of Summer Drinks

end of summer drinks We can’t wear white anymore ’cause Labor Day passed (not that we care about chick fashion rules anyway…). Football season kicked off this week, and college is back in session. Yup, summer is almost over; but technically there are still a few more weeks left before the autumn leaves start fallin’.

There might be a few pool parties left in 2007 so we leave it to thebar.com to serve up a few summer concoctions to round out the year.

DJ’S DELIGHT
3/4 oz Don Julio Blanco Tequila
3/4 oz melon liqueur
1 oz pineapple juice

Add Don Julio Blanco Tequila, melon liqueur, and pineapple juice in ice-filled rocks glass and stir. Read More »