He Said/She Said: Sex With an Ex

ex-sex.jpgYou know it’s wrong, but when you see your ex across the room for the first time since the big breakup/clothing exchange, rollin’ around in the sheets seems like the best idea in the world. You convince yourself that it will be fun, just this once, and that you both know what the deal is so there is nothing to lose.

But there is. And even the dudes agree.

If you are considering Ex Sex, read on. No one - male or female - thinks it’s a smart move. And trust us; we too thought it was brilliant at one point, but we learned our lesson and you should learn from it too.

He Said:
When you first break up, hooking up with your ex seems like the best thing possible, a naughty glimmer of hope in a dark sea of suckitude. What was your stupid girlfriend suddenly blooms into a beacon of sexiness. She dresses better, smiles more, never grills you about hanging out with your boys, doesn’t complain about what you’re wearing–even her boobs look bigger! It’s like breaking up was exactly what your mutual sex life—and your relationship–needed.

But it’s a trap.

A number of outcomes are likely. First, if it lasts more than a couple of hot nights, you soon fall back into the same, frustrating routines. Instead of just hooking up, you’re going to dinner with her grandma and shopping for crap you don’t care about. The arguing starts, and she’s once again lost that certain something. Basically, you’re back together-whether you admit it or not–and it sucks just as much as it did in the first place. Read More »

John Mayer Writes 10 Lines About His Ex

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…And the whole f**king internet goes crazy!

On his little blog, while he was at the airport, John Mayer wrote 10 lines about how his ex-girlfriend should move on and leave him alone. Minutes after he posted it, half of the net and almost all of the gossip sites started guessing who it was. My question is, why does anyone care?

I write s**t about my ex all the time - Brooke, you really are a skank (just kidding…!) - and no one seems to care. Yet here is a dude who has banged half of the hotties and Hollywood and he is bitching that they keep calling him to get some?

Ok, John - maybe you need to realize how nice you have it. Maybe you should come up to Albany and find some dirty biatch (like Brooke) who will gob your nob and then b*tch about it for a semester. I will hang out at your posh midtown apartment and live the life of a millionaire bachelor. Read More »