Oh, good. Again we’ve found a reason to bring back the “big-boned” excuse. As the London Telegraph reports, “The difference in the number of fat cells between lean and obese people is established in childhood and, although fat people replenish fat cells at the same rate as thin ones, they have around twice as many.”

So it’s not that you constantly drink soda, eat Cheetos for breakfast, down a case of beer in a night and do nothing but watch Maury Povich. Instead, your giant beer gut and cankles are your parents fault. After all, they were the ones who told you what to eat.

Fortunately, this does not have to be just another excuse. As the article reports:

This remarkable glimpse of what gives us beer guts, love handle and muffin tops could also lead to new approaches to fight the flab, by cutting the overall number of fat cells in the body, as well as providing an insight into why fat people find it so hard to lose weight, because the number of fat cells in a person remains the same, even after a successful diet… Read More »

Now, look: I’m lazy as f***. I don’t go to the gym and don’t ever plan on purchasing any of these newfangled workout machines. But I will buy the Hawaii Chair.

Do you like sitting down? Of course you do. How about gyrating - you like that? What if there was a contraption that combined your love of sitting down and air-humping and helped you lose weight?

I know, I know - wishful thinking…right?

WRONG. Oh so wrong.

What is the Hawaii Chair, you ask? Well, it’s simple: it’s a chair that simulates hula dancing (read: virtual boning), enabling you to lose weight while doing daily tasks like hanging out, relaxing, taking a break and blogging. One wonders if a toilet-version of Hawaii Chair could help with constipation…

I’ve went to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again. I understand the act of great courage that goes into being overweight and exercising at the gym, in the public.

In my case, I can’t get over the fact that I feel like a total idiot next to ripped dudes that can bench my body weight with one arm tied behind their back.

So I stay at home, flabby in the mid-section, and play Guitar Hero III on Hard (not Expert…yet). That’s how I get my feeling of self-satisfaction.

The most recent innovation in exercising is Krankcycling, a form of working out that resembles mixing batter in a bowl. Johnny Goldberg (”Johnny G.” to the hip cats), who previously created Spinning, is the developer of this upper-body workout. It’s sure to do well in California, home of EZ-living gym rats looking for the next big trend in exercising. Read More »

Swimming is one of the best forms of exercise. It’s not only a sport requiring the use of all the major muscle groups, but also a great aerobic workout.

Hey, that’s great and all, but where’s the violence?

Lucky for you, someone thought the same thing and invented water polo. You probably don’t realize it, but water polo is a combination of swimming, soccer and basketball, with a dash of wrestling, boxing and a healthy dose of assault and battery. It’s speed and stamina mixed with kicking, punching, scratching, biting and choking. Yeah! Read More »

Hey fatty, need to lose weight in a hurry? Try going on the beer diet!

The sexy, 86-pound Liv gives us a few reasons why drinking a ton of beer will cut your fat intake by 100%, allowing you to shed the pounds virtually overnight…

Tom Cruise asks the eternal question: “Who farted?” (AZ Central)

UK fitness levels for women are “At an all-time low.” Who cares? I say let it all hang out, ladies - oh, you are? Gross. Pack it back in. (Sky News)

Irony alert: candy given away by a teenager at an “alternative school” presumably laced with drugs. The candy? Mary Jane. (News Leader)

Super Irony alert: woman turned away from Kokoamos Island Bar and Grill for sporting dreadlocks. Sorry ma’am, we don’t like them island hairdos at our Island Bar…? (Richmond Times)

China bans “sexual sounds” on airwaves. TAKE IT OFF…the air. (Yahoo)

News Flash: The Mets blow! (ESPN)

Take steroids hit home runs…did we really need a physicist to break this down? (Reuters)

Siiiike Kevin Everett isn’t paralyzed. (Yahoo)

Fitness? Soooooo boring! (Butcat)

Sure Diana I’ll just buy a 1,600 acre hunting ranch! (htrland)

Too bad 90% of America don’t think hockey is a real sport. (30 Games)

Some players really aren’t in it for the money. (ESPN)

“Quick-fix exercises are generally poor substitutes for hard work, but the following exercises are simple enough to do in the comfort of your own home without sacrificing effectiveness. If you perform them a few times a week, you will stimulate your abdominal muscles enough to keep your core strong. But beware: You probably won’t see the results you’re hoping for unless you combine these exercises with a healthy diet and a regular cardiovascular regimen.”

“For all of the exercises, make sure to suck in your stomach, which will activate your transversus abdominis, the muscle that should always fire before any other core muscle.” Read More »