Dear Squinty-Eyed Pig Face Girl,

We haven’t known each other long, in fact we may never see each other again, but I feel the need to give you a little warning. I know you’re young and having fun, but a few of the things you do make you seem a little desperate, and that might get you a bad reputation.

I met you last night at the hot tub in our apartment complex, and I’m pretty sure you don’t remember very much of what happened there. Your face was abnormally small and took up a much smaller percentage of your head than a normal person’s. And as much as that scared me, it wasn’t the worst thing about you.

My roommates and I were relaxing after the bar, drinking a few beers and having a enjoying a soak– and then you showed up. Read More »

There’s a right way to huck yourself off a gigantic two-person swing, and a wrong way. And even with 15 spotters and a landing mat the size of Yankee stadium, this girl manages the wrong way. But it’s not the back shattering fall that makes this video hurt to watch, it’s the laughing.

Some people are built for certain activities. You can tell, just by looking at them, that they were made for their sport: Runners with strong legs; climbers, strong arms; tall basketball players and quick and agile running backs. This girl is not one of those people. And riding a mechanical bull is definitely not her activity. But it is F’ing hilarious.

I know the WiiFit is all about merging gaming and fitness into an entertaining package, but this is the only commercial Nintendo needs to sell the crap out of those things. I’m buying one tonight.

[Thanks to  Sand & Cotton for digging up this sexy number]

I guess you never really know…

The more you drink, the hotter she will get. If you drink enough, she will become mans’ ultimate fantasy!

Alcohol Makes Girls Sexy - Watch more free videos

“Obama Girl,” also known as random-not-that-hot-but-hot-enough-girl Amber Lee Ettinger to a select few, has strayed from Obama’s powerful clutch and into the arms of another Democrat - Hillary Clinton.

In the latest edition of Steppin’ Out magazine OG appears on the cover, air-brushed into oblivion but looking mighty fine. In her exclusive interview she talked about, like…stuff. And some things…about stuff.

What does this mean to her rabid fanbase? Nothing at all.

Her music video for “I Got a Crush…On Obama,” like most videos featuring “funny girls” on YouTube, is popular for its scantily-clad protagonist, not political topics.

But who cares? I don’t go to YouTube for hot-button issues and politics - I go there for poli-tits (see what I just did there?).

Watch the video for “I Got a Crush…On Obama” after the jump.

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