Santa Clause Drowns: No Ice At North Pole This Summer!

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Prepare for your mind to be blown: Scientist predict that there will be no ice at the North Pole this summer, the most dramatic evidence of global warming to date. Though the thaw is not yet complete, predictions set the odds at greater than 50:50 for a full meltdown.

Disappearance of the arctic ice will allow, for the first time in modern days, countries near the pole access to the predicted natural resources uncovered by the melting. Though the environmental impacts are more symbolic than consequential, politically and economically, the consequences are substantial. Read More »

The Daily Shocker: Swedish Babes Fight for the Right to be Topless

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In the words of Ragnhild Karlsson, advocate for going topless at beaches: “If women are forced to wear a top, shouldn’t men also have to?” AMEN.

A-Rod is named the American League M.V.P. as expected, gets a bajillion more dollars.

The Amazon Kindle hopes to bring ebooks to the masses. Judging only by the Kindle’s late-80s look, it’s gonna be a long, hard road.

Kirk Cameron is out to prove that God is real. If Growing Pains was any indication of His existence, God is a spiteful, merciless being indeed.

Why should kids in school spread joy and give Christmas cards to each other when they can spend their days and nights living in fear?

Plump up your Thanksgiving turkey with some real tasty stuffing.