7 Arrested For Cheering At S.C. High School Graduations

graduation.jpg

In today’s “this is some serious bullsh*t” category, seven audience members were arrested this week, at two separate high school graduations in South Carolina, for cheering. No, they weren’t drunk or crazy, and calling out expletives during the valedictorian speech–one dude was just calling out his cousin’s name.

From MSNBC.com:

Six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct, authorities said. Police said the seven yelled after students’ names were called. Read More »

Reefer Madness 101: Oaksterdam University

rasta-chihuahua.jpgWeed has a really schizophrenic status in American culture. Pretty much everyone’s tried it, but getting busted with even a small amount of it can land you some serious jail time.

Meanwhile, magazines like High Times boast super-ridiculous, high-definition marijuana centerfolds and smoking tips, and you can buy amazingly ornate smoking paraphernalia, like, at the local mall. Way to be low-key.

Although smoking pot is normalized, if not practically mainstream (we’re long past the “Reefer Madness” era, after all), there have been over eight million cannabis arrests in the United States since 1993 — at a rate of 1 cannabis users arrested every 40 seconds. And this is in a country where growing and selling pot, at least for medicinal purposes, is totally legal in many states. Could it get more convoluted?

In hopes of alleviating the confusing f*ck-all of cannabis culture in the United States, a new higher institution (pun intended) in the Bay Area has opened its doors to curious stoners, enterprising hydroponic botanists, and legalization activists. Half-jokingly dubbed “Oaksterdam University,” this Oakland trade school is a full-fledged university of weed. Read More »

Jamie Lynn and Casey - Get Hitched or go to Jail?

Jamie Lynn Spears Casey AlridgeAs if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is.

People are looking at Casey’s MySpace page, which has him at 17; his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal, who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money. It’s about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

- If he is 17, he is just another genius who knocked up a Spears girl and won the “K-Fed Lottery”

- If he is 18, there are some state statutes that would allow for a 2 year differentiation between consent and statutory rape

- If he is 19, he is f**ked Read More »

Michael Vick Sentenced to 23 Months in Jail

Michael Vick jail arrested court

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in jail on felony charges related to dogfighting after a shorter-than-expected hearing this morning.

In August Vick and his three co-defendants plead guilty for their affiliation with Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting group run out of a Virginia home in Vick’s name and approving the deaths of six to eight pit bulls that didn’t fight up to snuff. He faced a maximum sentence of 5 years but was expected to serve much less. Vick is also suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

One part of the morning that did go as expected was the media circus: by 8:00am dozens upon dozens of news sources, animal rights activists and Vick supporters were stationed around the courthouse, impatiently waiting for the verdict.

In related news, the Atlanta Falcons are 3-9 without Vick and will be attempting to recoup the $20 million bonus paid out to the quarterback.

Hands Up, Jack Bauer! Kiefer Sutherland Starts 48-Day Sentence

24 Jack Bauer arrested

Good thing the writer’s strike brought this season of 24 to a halt, because the real-life Jack Bauer starts his 48-day jail sentence for DUI today.

Seven-year-old girl shot six times while saving mother from raging gunman - and lives!

The Sirius Stiletto 2, a portable player that offers satellite radio on-the-go, is getting rave reviews.

Ham Soda: it’s is bad as it sounds.

Andrew Jones is heading west to the LA Dodgers.

Everybody seems to really like Lykke Li.

Ding Ding Diddy: The Weekend Street Brawl

Diddy fight

When a rich celebrity rolls around with 4 bodyguards it’s usually the hired help that does the roughing up. Not the case this weekend!

Puff Daddy had a good old Rocky vs Tommy Gunn style street brawl this Saturday night at Kiosk in SoHo. What started as a verbal argument with his acquaintance Steven Acevedo escalated quickly and ended when Diddy gave Acevedo’s face the one-two combo.

Once the fight ended Diddy (I can’t believe I’m calling a grown man “Diddy”) decided to revert to his former hood ways, talking smack to the man while he was down, reportedly yelling, “I’ll kill you, punk!”

This time around, Diddy can’t pin his crimes on somebody else.

Michael Vick’s Written Apology on eBay

Michael VickCanine-connoisseur Michael Vick felt really, really sorry about kicking the s*** out of small puppies…so he wrote down all of his feelings on a piece of paper.

Vick used a cue-card of sorts when he held a press conference last month condemning his own actions, using key words like “apologize” and “forgive” numerous times. Like the poet Baudelaire before him, Vick’s use of words were ripe with rhythm and reason.

Thought to be lost forever, the legendary “apology slip” of Michael Vick has been found.

Now, for all you feisty eBayers out there, you can own this slice of history at an affordable price!

Folks, this is your ONE chance to own an important piece of sports memorabilia.

Take a gander at the apology slip of paper, reprinted in all of its glory, after the jump!

Read More »

The Daily Shocker

The Daily Shocker

One in Four Women Have Lesbian Tendencies aka “25% of Women are AWESOME� (PinkNews)

Portrait of Bush Bashed for Using Porno Clippings aka “Bush Trimmed with Porno Pics�
(The Register)

El Debarge in Jail for Domestic Violence aka “El Debarge’s Latest Hit” (Media TakeOut)

Karl Rove’s Car Covered in Plastic Wrap, Eagles and an “I Love Obama� Sticker aka “Best Senior Prank of ’07 Thus Far� (CBS)

Burning Man Set on Fire Early Due To Arson aka “Flamer Ruins Neo-Hippie Party� (LaughingSquid)

Crocs Launch Clothing Line aka “Ugliest Shoes Ever Now Have Shirt To Match” (Daily Mail)

LiLo Avoids Felony Charges; Gets Wrist Firmly Slapped

Linsday Lohan

If there is any lesson to be learned from the charges filed against Lindsay Lohan, it’s that you should always, always shove every last crystal of cocaine up your nose before cops pull you over. That way you won’t get charged for possession…?

LiLo has been charged with seven misdemeanors (and zero felonies - more on that in a bit) from her two counts of DUI, adding up to a grand total of four days in jail if she is found guilty on all accounts. Read More »

Foxy Brown Going to the Pound

Foxy Brown

After violating her probation rapper Foxy Brown, three-months pregnant, will be serving time in the pen until her next court date, scheduled for September 7. Following the footsteps of recent preggo-prisoners, Brown is set to stay in a cell by herself, akin to having a dorm-room to herself.

Terrible, simply terrible.

The BlackBerry bludgeoner will not only have a room all her own but an escort for those pesky times in between…serving time. Just like real jail, but more un-jail like.

Maybe now the “Ill Na Na” can catch up on some TV.