Being a nice guy means many things to a girl - “cute,” “fun to go out with,” “a real good friend” - but it almost never means “I want to bring you back to my place and proceed to ****, ****, and **** every last **** of your **** followed by the best ******* ever.”

Nice guys like my friend (let’s call him “Michael”) tailgate not football games, but Shakespeare in the Park in hopes of laying pipe.

Michael is the type of guy that goes out for drinks with large groups of horny girls that reveal to him every filthy, slutty thought women have (for kicks, right ladies?). He will go on several dates with a chick that won’t even give him a complimentary handjob for his troubles. Michael is a real swell guy who ladies could bring home to their parents without a hitch.

Nice guys like Michael are the biggest victims of the dreaded cuddle rape. Read More »