After spending the last few months speaking at universities in the Northeast, there’s one question that keeps coming up. (No, it’s not “who farted?”)

“What’s the best way to approach women at school?”

Fret not, young ones. Here’s how to get love in three everyday , mundane areas on campus. And, unlike alcoholism, you can solve this in just five easy steps!

1. Find her when she’s alone. It’s not as creepy as it sounds. You stand a greater chance of meeting her when she’s by herself than with friends. She’ll be more receptive to your charms.

2. Observe something about her. What is she doing? What is she wearing? What is she eating? What’s she reading? Observations lead to conversation.

3. Start talking. Now that you’ve summed her up, talk! Use what you have observed as a starter ( not in a stalker, I - know- your - underwear - color kind of way). Don’t worry about saying the right thing; think less, talk more. Read More »

The following article satire is brought to you by the folks at COED:

I often find myself asking myself (is that a run on?) “where is the perfect location for meeting girls?”

Sure, clubs are often the first place that comes to mind, but my cute pick-up lines don’t always work well when attempting to talk over loud, fist-pumping music to orange-skinned girls from Staten Island.

A desperate fella like me must suck it up and meet girls the hard way: in real life. Read More »

For the first time in history, all “significant literary, artistic, and scientific works of mankind can be digitally preserved and made available, in every corner of the world, for our education, study, and appreciation and that of all our future generations.”

The Universal Library (ULIB) is a long-running internet project that plans to be a one-stop portal for all books, digitizing what is to become the be-all, end-all of archiving. Best of all, the complete collection will be free of charge. College students rejoice: never again will you have to pay $65 for a book on Western Civilization if ULIB is successful. Read More »

Oopsy Deathsy: Iowa Woman Slays Her Cheating Husband with a Knife…By Mistake! (MSNBC)

Swiss Army of One: Wheeler High School Student Suspended 10 Days and Charged with a Felony for Bringing All-Purpose Blade to School (AJC)

Orville Deadenbacher: Diacetyl, a Chemical Found in Popcorn, Reportedly Causes Lung-Damage (CNN Video)

U.K.P.P.: Anatomically-Correct Doll “Baby Pee Pee” in the United Kingdom is Perfect for Perverts
(Hello Hedonism)

Jack-of-all-Trades: Man at University of Manitoba Caught Masturbating to Internet Porn in Library; When Approached By Security Says, “I’m almost done, can I finish?” (Winnipeg Sun)

Sex. You would think this measly three-letter word could end world wars; it’s that popular and powerful (particularly with the opposite sex). But no matter how seemingly great it is, sometimes things can get a bit boring and repetitive in the bedroom, can?t they? Keep the action hot and heavy all-year round.

“Just like Valentine’s Day” Sex
Make it super-special and put that added effort into it. You’ll drive him crazy if you light the candles and sweet-smelling incense, get out the body-massage oil and whip out that sexy red number you just bought from Victoria’s Secret. Treat him like a king for the night, he won’t be able to resist! Read More »