For some reason, it’s a big drug-news day. Maybe because it’s Friday, and journalists are gearing up for the weekend. Whatever the reason, we’ve got a fun one this time.

As always, science is confirming something we already know–nearly 1/3 of people that routinely visit pubs, bars and nightclubs and use drugs and alcohol to improve their sex lives. The BBC reports that a recent study shows a third of 16 to 35-year-old men and 23% of women in Europe deliberately binge on alcohol and drugs to improve their sex lives.

If I were you, I’d jump on a plane the second your graduation gown hits the floor. You’ve got three and a half months to celebrate before people start asking questions about you failing at life.

To visiting any one of the nine countries (UK, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, Greece, Italy, Portugal, Spain and Slovenia) included in the survey check out our article, “Fly To Europe This Summer for $225 on Zoom Air,” and get laid doing what you do best.

The following article satire is brought to you by the folks at COED:

I often find myself asking myself (is that a run on?) “where is the perfect location for meeting girls?”

Sure, clubs are often the first place that comes to mind, but my cute pick-up lines don’t always work well when attempting to talk over loud, fist-pumping music to orange-skinned girls from Staten Island.

A desperate fella like me must suck it up and meet girls the hard way: in real life. Read More »

When I first stumbled upon the worldwide sensation known as Tecktonik I thought “Oh boy, these techno-freaks-slash-coked-up-ravers are gonna give Guidos a run for their money.” Then I watched this video compilation of Tecktonik kids dancing it up…and I still think that I’m right.

Outside of a few cute girls gyrating all serpentine and slinky this sensation screams rave tents, ecstasy and pacifiers. B-boys or bust.

This “Beer Retriever” is truly Man’s Best Friend. (CollegeHumor)

Former President Bill Clinton jokes that he may “slit his throat” if Hillary becomes President, thus making him “First Lady/Man.” We will too, Willy - we will too. (USA Today)

A nightclub in London turned away a disabled girl, citing that her crutches were “offensive weapons.” They should have just said, “No fatties allowed.” (ThisIsLondon)

An MIT student was arrested for wearing a fake bomb she designed to an airport; she claimed it was just artwork, no big deal. First, artsy-fartsy hipsters wore keffiyehs, now they don fake bombs in airports. Tragic. (WBZ)

Meet the Soundwagon aka THE COOLEST RECORD PLAYER EVER! It will look dashing next to your lava lamp and gravity bong. (Soundwagon)