Everybody and their mother knows that Wii loves mothers (families in general, but they love moms a lot), from the perpetually PG vibes of their first-party games, to the undercurrent of low quality kiddie titles that would weigh down their entire library if anyone ever took notice.

While I’m in the camp that thinks Nintendo needs a little roughing up — Medal of Honor and other sloppy ports just won’t do — a Pole Dancing Wii game may not be the bridge they’re looking for, either.

From Tech Digest:

“Currently seeking a partner to help license their concept, Peekaboo Pole Dancing has sent out an email announcing their idea for a Wii game that’d have you ’shake your booty’ and ’spin your thing’.

Little else is said about the project, only that it’s a concept, and ‘A-list celebs’ like Carmen Electra, Kylie Minogue, the Spice Girls and Pussycat Dolls are already fans of the company, who currently sell portable dance poles.”

THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Still, it’s a fun thought, Nintendo endorsing a pole dancing title featuring the world’s most famous tramps. The mind boggles at the Wiimote’s possibilities.

(Photo Credit: Jamillia Deville - Pole Dancer, Julio Arenas - Photographer)

It’s the moment I feared: Nintendo Wii, like the GameCube before it - and the Nintendo 64 before that! - has reached a point where selling consoles to their demographic has hit a consistent peak without releasing any noteworthy games, outside of first-party titles.

First off, let me admit to being a Nintendo ‘fanboy,’ whatever that means. I align with the style and ingenuity of their titles, and think their idea of what gaming should be about - a surreal experience that’s fun without being too complicated - is sincere. With that said, all titles that fall outside of their quality imprint fall short. Far too many weak, cash-in ports plague the system, and their stable of AAA franchise revivals lacks inspiration at times. What the Big N needs is a SNES-like revival of equal parts quality and quantity - but can that happen within their niche market? Read More »

Either this is a very well-conceived prank just in time for April Fools, or the most outta control video game I’ve seen in years, if not ever.

Japan has always been a bastion for odd games and products, but Super Pii Pii Brothers, a game where players strap a Wiimote to their crotch and attempt to keep their ‘flow’ in the toilet bowl, is the most insane and hilarious games since the inimitable Boong-Ga Boong-Ga, endearingly known as that game where you put a finger up a plastic a**. Yeah…Japan is pretty rad. Read More »

So let’s assume you’re dead, and your school f**ked up and allowed it to happen through a lack of planning and/or any security oversight whatsoever. (I know this is a far-fetched assumption, but stick with me.) Your family is all upset and sh*t over the fact that you’re not around anymore, and now they’re stuck with your student loans and credit card debt.

Instead of just “moving on” and trying to sell your Wii they decide to search for “answers.” Some families are POV’s looking to get paid, while others want to prevent this from happening again.

What do you think your school’s response would be? Read More »

• Rumors are abound that the Nintendo Wii emits a sound frequency that attracts cockroaches. It’s either that or the source of this rumor is just your average slob gamer who hasn’t cleaned his living room since the original Rygar came out.

• Stop biting your nails, clearing your throat and talking loudly on your cellphone, please.

• Hulk Hogan wants to pummel Rosie O’ Donnell. Ewwwww

• Define “middle-class” families.

• They say it took 18 months for the smile of the world’s first face transplant patient to come back; it will take equally as long for me to get my erection back after seeing her without make-up.

• If you ignore the terrible font, you’ll see one of the coolest photos of the year.

• No speak English? No cheesesteak for you!

Across the country there are shortages of the Nintendo Wii, and with good reason: it’s the hottest gift this holiday season - for the second season in a row.

The motion-controlled marvel is set to lead the console pack in holiday sales, outselling both the PS3 and Xbox 360 - if it can maintain its stock. Nintendo’s grip on the gaming industry - both the Wii and Nintendo DS are major sellers worldwide, with combined sales over 1 million in October - may be loosened up with Sony’s recent price drop and Xbox 360’s essential library. Hardcore gamers that already own Xbox 360 will flock to their local electronics store to snag a less-pricey PS3; scrappy gaming upstarts will sink their teeth into Xbox 360’s deeper catalog of games.

But parents? Most of them will wait it out for a Wii. Read More »