What is Drunkorexia?

Drunkorexia

The Morning Show’s Mike and Juliet totally have their fingers on the pulse of young America as evidenced by their latest buzzworthy topic, “Drunkorexia.”

Drunkorexia (also known as “drunk-arexia”; take your pick) is the name of a media-approved epidemic that describes the daily behavior of every well-adjusted girl in college that doesn’t still shop at the Disney Store for XL sweatshirts sporting Pluto and Goofy. Thirty percent of women between the ages of 18 -23 curb their daily food intake in order to drink their meals.

Tastes great, less filling. Read More »

World of Warcraft Intervention

world of warcraft

I believe the song from the South Park movie goes, “There are times when you get suckered in, by drugs and alcohol and sex with women. But it’s when you do these things too much that you become an addict and have to get back in touch.”

Mr. Mackey left something out of that little ditty: the video game World of Warcraft. Read More »

The Daily Shocker: Latin-Americans Love Life

The Daily Shocker

Statistics show that most Latin-American countries rank highest in a worldwide poll for “personal satisfaction.” Hot weather, nachos, Corona and the hottest women in the world - yeah, I’d be pretty pumped about my life too. (Yahoo)

A teacher in Montclaire gives out homework assignments to his students’ parents on the regular. Start placing your bets now to see how long it will take for this smart-aleck teacher to be “involved in a scandal.” I say two weeks. (NY Times)

Woman gets sued for downloading 24 songs of KaZaa. She originally got charged for 25 songs, but even the RIAA doesn’t consider Nickelback music. (Duluth News)

“The Top Ten Rude Behaviors in the Workplace” (Hopkins)

After the Mayor of Atlantic City turns up missing for over a week, some random dude appoints himself Mayor. First action as Mayor: rename A.C. “Awesomeville.” (CBS3)

Movies of 1999: South Park, Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

South Park: Bigger, Longer and UncutIt was the summer of ‘99 and throughout the world one movie was thrilling children and scaring parents: South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. The fantastic foursome of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman made their big screen debut in a musical about growing up, defying authority, war and the apocalypse.

The plot of the movie is the boys pay a homeless guy to get them tickets to a new movie based on their favorite show Terrance and Phillip. They not only enjoy it but also expand their vocabulary with a wide variety of curse words, which causes Kyle’s mother to flip out and start a war with Canada. Unfortunately, if the war occurs Satan and Saddam Hussein, who are lovers, will begin a thousand year reign of terror. Read More »

Studying Is for Losers

studying My parents love to talk about the worth of a liberal arts education. You go to college, you take a wide range of classes, you work hard, you get somewhere. Simple as that. Sort of like that whole ‘American Dream’ thing. But does taking a bunch of different classes and working hard really equal post-graduate prosperity?Other people, evidently, are asking the same thing. A big story in The New York Times recently cited, with grave horror, the decline in achievement among guys in relation to those up-and-coming girls. A lot of guys, though, suggested in their comments for the article: why bother?

Still, to this day, I wonder what the point of taking classes like Astronomy and ‘Math in the Arts’ (a real course at Connecticut College, when I went there) and Music Theory was. A perfect example of a useless class is the latter. I would definitely consider myself a musician. Read More »

Walking the Plank: My Story of Getting Busted for Downloading Music

busted for downloading music So you fancy your downloaded music? Well, guess what, you pirating son of a bitch: the Man’s gonna getcha. Believe me; I know firsthand. One moment, I was floating through the web, using Kazaa and Limewire to download my favorite Ace of Base songs, then BOOM! I’m doin’ time. Well, not really, but you’ll see. Let’s backtrack a bit. I had just persuaded my mother to bring my desktop to the fraternity house. Let the guiltless hiding-of-the-porn-in-a-separate-folder, illegal downloading free-for-all commence! An album here, a movie there, it was cooler than penguin shit. My roommate wanted in. “Do you mind if I download this new song I love?”

“Sure,” I said confidently, feeling like Jesus Himself, feeding the masses with fish and bread, well, username and login, in this case. Read More »