Loading ...If you’re still on the fence about who to vote for this November… you need worry no more. Paris Hilton has officially made her presidential intentions clear in this response ad to the now infamous McCain / Hilton / Spears political. And you thought our country was in trouble.
Hurricane Bush
July 20, 2008 - 3:30 pm
Of all the disasters we’ve witnessed around the world over the past seven years, few would argue that any top that of George W. Bush’s presidency. Unfortunately, this satire (from The Onion) makes more sense than reality. Can November get here any faster?
Barack Obama Supports Marijuana Decriminalization
March 11, 2008 - 9:30 am
This is a video from 2004 in which Barack Obama expresses his support for marijuana decriminalization. Asked about this, the candidate has said this is still his position.
The Hillary Problem: Women Should be NICE
February 15, 2008 - 9:30 am
Everybody wants to tell me how they feel about Hillary.
Super Tuesday has come and gone. In spite of the fact that Hillary Rodham Clinton won the majority of the votes on that day, which usually cements the leading presidential candidates for both parties, her nomination as the Democratic Party candidate is not at all secure.
Obama has won eight straight primaries, and leads the race by a small but significant margin, aided by the fact that he continues to win over voter demographics that have been, in the past, more inclined to vote for Clinton.
This is, of course, fascinating - a close race, an important decision - and I’m more than willing to talk about the candidates’ policies, track records, voter bases, etc. with anyone who shows a vague interest in the subject. In fact, I keep getting suckered into conversations about it, only to face, again and again, the ugly truth: when it comes to Hillary Rodham Clinton, her politics are the last thing that anyone wants to talk about.
Most folks who want to talk Hillary with me forgo any discussion of her career. They’d rather focus on her personality - which is, according to people in my vicinity, cold, harsh, ambitious, calculating, conniving, aggressive, angry, bitchy, and even (gasp!) lesbian.
God help me, I try to engage with these people. But at some point during the endless recitation of Hillary’s character flaws, my eyes glaze over and I tune out. Because, I swear, no matter what they say, the translation software in my brain supplies the same meaning over and over again: not a girl, not a girl, not a girl… Read More »
Colbert Denied Candidacy
November 2, 2007 - 9:45 am
The word: unfortunate.
Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report was snubbed of his dream Thursday - the dream of running America.
After paying the $2,500 filing fee needed to run as a Democrat in South Carolina Colbert was to be considered a presidential hopeful, until South Carolina’s executive committee stunted his publicity stunt, with Carol Fowler (the state party Chairwoman) citing that “[the committee takes] their responsibilities seriously. Our rules are pretty specific about what makes a legitimate candidate.”
Was the million-and-change strong Facebook group and endless publicity all for naught?
Since Colbert also refused to pay the outrageous sum of $35,000 to run on the Republican ticket it looks like this fantasy is coming to an end. Read More »
The Daily Shocker: World War III
October 17, 2007 - 4:00 pm
President George W. Bush, in a last-minute attempt to drum up some sort of approval, states that if Iran goes nuclear we could be in for World War III. (Breitbart)
Rock of Love’s Heather talks about…being Rock of Love’s Heather. (College Candy)
According to Google studies the phrase “hangover” is searched more in Ireland, United States and United Kingdom than anywhere else on the globe. White, English-speaking societies: the most drunkest of them all. (Reuters)
“Baby Jessica” - you know, that little girl who fell down the well - 20 years later, passes go and collects over 1 million dollars. The countdown begins until the “Baby Jessica” Maxim photoshoot. (MSNBC)
Are you a skinny, short man at 5′0″ and 150 pounds who needs to hide his identity when robbing a place? I recommend cross-dressing. Are you a tall, burly man at 6′3″ and 300 pounds? Need to hide your identity when robbing a place? Uh… (WTMJ)
Stephen Colbert: Presidential Hopeful?
October 17, 2007 - 10:30 am
Stephen Colbert announced the announcement Americans have wanted to hear, straight from the source’s mouth: he is running for President!
Acting oddly reserved - as well as staunchly American; check the bale of hay and brown-bottle beer - Colbert first announced that he would “consider” announcing an announcement on the subject of him running for President “on a more prestigious show.”
He did exactly that an hour later on his very own Colbert Report. Read More »
Rockies Edge Out Padres for the NL Wild Card
October 2, 2007 - 9:45 am
After 13 innings, the Colorado Rockies take the NL Wild Card from the San Diego Padres. (Yahoo)
Schools the world over ban hugs between students. See? I was right in 7th grade - hugs do get you pregnant! (My Way)
Britney Spears, fresh off losing custody of her kids, shows up at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, spending her cash and flashing her ass. I can’t believe I’m starting to like - nay, love - K-Fed. (TMZ)
I can’t possibly expand on this: “Sex in Car: Hooker Mom Snorts Cocaine Off Baby’s Stomach While Breastfeeding.” (Breitbart)
Hillary Clinton’s laugh (dubbed the “Clinton Cackle”) is no laughing matter. (Wonkette)
Garry Kasparov: world chess champion, Russian and…presidential candidate in Russia? (CBS)
The Daily Shocker: Beer-Retrieving Dog
September 21, 2007 - 4:00 pm
This “Beer Retriever” is truly Man’s Best Friend. (CollegeHumor)
Former President Bill Clinton jokes that he may “slit his throat” if Hillary becomes President, thus making him “First Lady/Man.” We will too, Willy - we will too. (USA Today)
A nightclub in London turned away a disabled girl, citing that her crutches were “offensive weapons.” They should have just said, “No fatties allowed.” (ThisIsLondon)
An MIT student was arrested for wearing a fake bomb she designed to an airport; she claimed it was just artwork, no big deal. First, artsy-fartsy hipsters wore keffiyehs, now they don fake bombs in airports. Tragic. (WBZ)
Meet the Soundwagon aka THE COOLEST RECORD PLAYER EVER! It will look dashing next to your lava lamp and gravity bong. (Soundwagon)
Dubya and Congress Numbers Hit an All-Time Low
September 19, 2007 - 11:00 am
The approval rate of President George Bush and Congress has plummeted - again.
As of this morning, a Reuters/Zogby poll indicated that only a paltry 29 percent of Americans give Dubya the thumbs-up while a baffling 11 percent approve of the job Congress is doing. Both numbers are a record-low for each, leaving nothing short of complete doubt over the powers handling America’s policies. The country fears a recession within the next year - not good.
Stirring the pot even further was the release of a few more important percentages: only 27 percent of likely voters think that our policies are up to par while the vast majority (over 60 percent) is worried about the fate of our country at this time. Read More »
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