The night began with me running around to find my corporate AMEX, because f#$k knows I don’t have $50 to watch this - but I prevailed, and wound up using my girlfriend’s father’s credit card. Thank you Mr. Dreyfus…you…you’re a keeper!

So Joe Rogan and the other dude love to hear themselves talk, we are just a captive audience for them rambling. That blows, because I would have rather watched the prelim fights. Let’s begin the recap for those of you who don’t have girlfriends that carry around daddy’s credit card:

Kalib Starnes was on the receiving end of a beating. Alan Belcher was a little too much of a punk in the way he skipped and juked around the ring, but his Muay Thai was retarded. Kalib Starnes got more knees to the head than any man should have to endure. The best part came when Belcher kneed Starnes to the head and opened a 4 inch, skull deep gash into his forehead. Dude…this is a quote from the doctor, “Fella, I can see your skull.” The ref stopped the fight, but Kalib was done. The doctor asked him, “Can you see?” Bitch-boy replies, “Not when the blood is in my eye.” Kalib, brother…if you are in a fight and you WANT to keep going - your answer to that question should be, “Yes!” Whatever, Starnes lost and I got to see a human skull, in use.

The Bonner-Schafer fight was gay. They grab assed for a little bit and then Bonner got on top and just punched this kid until the ref stopped it. Even Bonner was like, “Eh…that was gay.”

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