The Bottle: Pernod Absinthe Returns!

If you know anything about the mischievous “Green Fairy,” you know “real” absinthe was banned in the U.S. for nearly a century because of the hallucinogenic ingredients in worm wood, from which absinthe is partially made. But unless you’ve been paying close attention to ordinances passed at The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB), you might have missed some of the newly legalized “true absinthe” on the State-side market.

After studies found that the quantity of thujone (the mind-altering substance in wormwood) too minuscule to cause any of its infamous effects, the TTB allowed absinthe to be sold in the U.S., with restrictions on the amount of thujone a stipulation. So for the first time since 1915, let me present to you Pernod, a “real” absinthe.

Neon green, extremely high in alcohol content and flavored like black licorice, absinthe requires a tempered tongue to enjoy properly. I learned of absinthe long before trying it for the first time, which I did in what could have been Jesus’s bedroom–a stone, candle-lit, cave of a bar in Jerusalem, Israel.

All I knew was that it f**ked you up, and some of the greatest artists of all time - Van Gogh, Picasso, Hemmingway (to name a few) - all are known absinthe drinkers, and have recorded experiences with the beverage in their work.

I’d been lucky enough to have the press trip to this tumultuous land pawned off on me by my boss, who’d just had a baby and was afraid of going to a “war zone.” But instead of suicide bombings, I found myself awash in great food, wonderful company and better booze.

Despite a travel itinerary fit for the Special Forces, some of the other 12 or 13 journalists and I found the energy to drink until dawn every morning. So with only a single night in the most disputed city on Earth, we ventured out to discover Jerusalem’s bar scene, and found ourselves at the first, dark joint we came to in this strange, haunted city.

With glasses of wine from dinner and a beer or two sloshing in my stomach, I stumbled behind a few of my fellow compatriots on the way to the bar, blathering away beside a newspaperman from the Jerusalem Post, who was covering our trip, for some reason. The quote he used wasn’t bad, compared to some of the sh*t I drunkenly mumbled into his microphone. Read More »

Rottentomatoes.com is Full of Lies…Sort Of

Rottentomatoes.com is a marvelous website, but I recently found out that it may be lying to all of us. If you don’t know what this website does, I’ll give you a brief overview: It reports on movies that are currently playing in theatres around the U.S. by providing links to pictures, videos and plot summaries.

It also collects hundreds of reviews written in newspapers, magazines and on the internet and gives the movie a rating based on the number of positive reviews divided by the total (for those non-math majors, this is called a percentage). Any movie with a rating higher than 60 percent is said to be fresh and is probably worth seeing, anything under 60 percent is rotten. Read More »

Sound Check: Snoop Dogg - “Ego Trippin’”

Snoop Dogg Ego Trippin' Snoop Dogg - Ego Trippin’ (2008)

Ego Trippin’, Snoop Dogg’s 1,979th album in as many years (dog years?) has the old fogie getting all hyphy with the kids and giving nods to New Jack Swing. He’s a Renaissance Man, that Dogg.

Never one to pay attention to details, Snoop offers up 21 tracks of extremely varying quality. If one has ever wondered about the long term effects of smoking way too much weed (and being as indulgent and careless as possible), this is Exhibit A.

But whatever to all that: you’re here to hear Snoop lazily drawl over West Coast production, and that’s exactly what he does - for better or worse.

So, yeah…isn’t “Sensual Seduction” the jam?

Between the gloriously-budget video and Snoop donning his best crooner voice, “Sensual Seduction” was a winner with the most basic of charms. I hoped that it hinted towards what Ego Trippin’ would sound like - exploito funk moves from a cannabis-stuffed tailpipe - but I’m disappointed to say it’s a one-off. Read More »

Sound Check: Nine Inch Nails - “Ghosts I-IV”

Ghosts I-IV

Following the blueprint laid down by Radiohead late last year, Nine Inch Nails have released Ghosts I-IV, a 4-disc instrumental album, without the (full) aid of a major label. A digital download gives you the first nine tracks free of charge; for $5 the entire set is yours. A deluxe version is available for the hefty price of $300, but let’s not go there just yet - how is the music?

Digesting a 4-disc instrumental set in one day, let alone in one sitting, is a tall order - but that’s what I’m here for, fair readers. I am here to hear - here, here.

Less ambient and more mid-90s cold wave soundtrack, Ghosts I-IV is a necessary departure from Trent Reznor’s angsty tendencies. This time around, all his gloom is distilled into instrumentals, which range from the burrs and twitches of NIN’s industrial flirtations (think The Fragile) to quick bursts of avant noise, albeit tame for the genre. Wolf Eyes this is not. Read More »

Led Zeppelin Live in London

It’s been 17 years since Led Zeppelin last reunited for a one-off performance, and much has changed in the climate of popular rock. To “rawk” nowadays you must simply grumble in a faux-baritone while chugging guitars steady the pace until the chorus sends the entire affair into a loud, mid-tempo dirge. It’s a sad state of affairs in rock today if you’re not looking in the right places.

In Led Zeppelin’s heyday, the late John Bonham’s caveman stomp supplied the blueprint for every Bamm-Bamm inspired drummer; John Paul Jones anchored the band with seismic bass and keyboard accompaniment; Page’s riffs proved the theory of plate tectonics and Plant’s coyote howl could tear the pasties off a stripper. Yeah…Led Zep was (and is) pretty good.

If you’re gonna go big, you might as well go Zeppelin:

Brew Review: Samuel Adams Cream Stout

Samuel Adams Cream StoutDo you like cream in your coffee? If so, you may be a fan of Samuel Adams Cream Stout, a dark brew that goes down surprisingly easy.

Thick in more than appearance, this cream stout pours a deep chocolate brown with a tan, foamy head that lingers for a few minutes. Upon settling, a healthy amount of lacing sticks to the serving glass.

Its scent is reminiscent of - you guessed it - rich, dark chocolate and coffee.

Funny enough, Samuel Adams Cream Stout isn’t as “heavy” as one would expect. Creamy? Very much so. This brew packs a wallop on the taste-bud scale, with a complex mix of roasted coffee beans, cocoa beans and a touch of honey for kicks.

Malty, smooth and sophisticated - just the way I like my beer.

While it’s by no means a casual drinking beer - it’s more of a relax and enjoy type of brew - I can picture myself packing away a few frequently during the winter months. The beer’s alcohol content is at a dismal 4.69, but that’s expected when taste comes first. No complaints here, as a higher alcohol content would have probably muddied up its distinct taste.

I can wholeheartedly recommend Samuel Adams Cream Stout to any beer lover, regardless of preference. I can see this brew appealing to the casual drinker as much as any beer aficionado.

Samuel Adams Cream Stout stats:

Tastes like: quality dark chocolate with a strong coffee aftertaste

Smells like: refer to “tastes like”

Alcohol content: very low considering; recommended when drinking “for taste”

“The Dark Knight” Six-Minute Teaser Review (Spoiler Alert)

Batman: the Dark Knight posterEarlier this evening I was invited to a hush-hush, six-minute teaser of The Dark Knight at AMC Loews Lincoln Center in New York.

Being the nice guy that I am, I’ll break down the not-so-breaking details (the six minutes of Dark Knight glory have been previously shown at various locales throughout the week) of the entire affair.

Spoilers start here:

After an opening shot of Gotham City in the daytime, the pace picks up with clown-masked robbers in the midst of a major bank heist. The Killer Clowns bust through the bank’s doors, creating chaos out of order as they take control of the room, save for one unnamed employee (William Fichtner) keeping his cool, plotting against his newly-made adversaries.

Emerging from his desk Fichtner wields a shotgun, shattering the glass around him and emptying shots on the clowns, who safely duck behind a service area. “Do you really know what you’re getting into?” he says, hinting towards the bank being controlled by the mafia. After he runs out of ammo one clown jumps up and shoots his side, dropping him.

Throughout the hail of bullets in the bank lobby the other clowns in the operation, knee-deep in cash, are double and triple-crossing each other. With loads of money on the line, each clown’s motive is to kill the guy they’re next to, hoping to flee with all the earnings. Read More »

E-Boost: It’ll Put a Spring in Your Step

E-boostWhere other energy drinks barely deliver what they advertise - giving you a quick rush accompanied by a feeling of spacey-ness and lack of concentration - E-Boost picks you up while providing the B12 necessary to boost your mental alertness and immunity levels.

I’ve never been a coffee drinker and energy drinks are either too surgery, giving me a pounding headache or taste like ass but E-Boost tastes great (very similar to orange-flavored Gatorade or Tang!).

I never realized how unproductive I am between 11:30AM and my 2PM lunch break until I threw down a packet of E-Boost. It allowed me to properly organize the day’s tasks and start knocking them off from top to bottom. I was a first time user that got hooked right away. Read More »

American Gangster Review

american gangsterAmerican Gangster is a perfect gangster film. A rise and fall film, but it is done better than both Empire and Carlito’s Way put together. Where Empire fails, American Gangster prevails where historical accuracy is needed as well as a good background story. It’s violent and sometimes shocking, but being an avid gangster/crime fan i know that compared to others this is almost nothing.

A brilliant biopic of New York gangster Frank Lucas the film also utilizes Lucas’ relationship with the Italian Mafia perfectly, giving you almost a two way view of the city’s underworld. Denzel Washington excels at the part as Lucas, and Russell Crowe as the cop out to get him is almost blinding. Crowe does a great American accent, as well as portraying a cop out to just do his job but can’t properly. It’s a a film about Lucas’ rise to fame in New York’s Heroin business, and his fall due to both Crowe and police persistence.

Like with most gangster films, you are always put off by either the acting or the story. But here this is not the case, you have a true story that does not mask Lucas’ violent life but rather portrays it as a life of both murder and violence. It does not glamorize his life in any way, it’s a film that says criminals never get away with what they’ve done. Both Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe are perfect in the criminal and cop relationship.

I would say now do not listen to the negative reviews of this film, they do no justice for the film. I’d recommend this film to fans of crime flicks and those who just want a riveting film to watch.

American Pie: A Journey Through College

American Pie

In 1999, a phenomenal event occurred that forever changed the way people look at pastry: American Pie debuted in movie theaters.

American Pie is the story of a group of friends consisting of awkward Jim (Jason Biggs), Oz the jock (Chris Kline), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) in a serious relationship with Tara Reid, the sly Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and resident asshole Stifler (Sean William Scott). The boys are in their senior year of high school and have embarked on a quest to get laid before prom night. Hilarious hijinks accompany their pursuit.

Along the way we meet many characters: the sexy foreign exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) who prompts Jim to blow his load a little early in front of a live audience on the internet; Stifler’s hot mom, who becomes Finch’s conquest; Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), who becomes Jim’s girlfriend and sticks her flute where the sun doesn’t shine; and in my opinion the one who steals the show, Eugene Levy as Jim’s Dad who buys him pornography and catches him doing a pie.
Read More »