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It’s back-to-school time, and you know what that means–awesome parties, hot chicks and lots and lots of beer. Sure, college is supposed to be about studying and bettering yourself. But that’s only half of it. To prepare you for the forgotten drunken wonderful nights you’re about to endure, we’ve put together the quintessential compilation of the one thing that’s best about the college experience–Beer Bong Babes.
Does true love exist? Ask 500 people. Are male doctors more trusted than women doctors? Ask 500 people. Ham or bologna? You guessed it…
Hair spray: handles your frizz, gives you a buzz.
Hot = girls who fart in front of their boyfriends.
Speaking of hygiene, be careful when you decide to comb your hair - your life may be at stake.
The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World (read: Japan).
Parents, school board, student in detention: can’t any of your problems be solved by hugging-it-out? Oh, that’s what got the student in detention in the first place? Wow…
I have personally lived in three of the Top Five Worst States. Hint: they all start with “New.”
For those who watch college football regularly know that Brent Musburger has a few sayings he likes to repeat constantly, which is the basis for the game.
Note: Partner is spelled “Pardner,” because that’s the way he says it.
Rule 1: “The Pardner” A person is picked to be the Pardner at the beginning of the game. The first time Brent says “Pardner,” the Pardner has to take 1 drink, and then picks someone else to be the Pardner. The next time Brent says it the new Pardner has to take two drinks, and then pick a new Pardner, and so on and so on. The Pardner must wear a special “Pardner” hat.
Rule 2: “Folks.” Everyone drinks 1 when Brent says “Folks.” However, if Brent says “Hold on Folks,” everyone must drink once but the first person to drink has to finish their drink for not holding on.
Rule 3: “It’s a foot race!” Whenever Brent says “It’s a foot race” everyone has to finish their drink. The first one done becomes “That Man” and gets to punch the Pardner in the arm. Read More »
Pittsburgh moron first tries to cash in a $1 million dollar bill at a local shop, then proceeds to reach for the store’s scanner gun to retaliate when it’s not accepted. What, is this guy from the year 2066 or something? (Pittsburgh Tribune)
Svedka Vodka: a favorite among jobless, useless New York socialites. (College Candy)
Caution to every male in the United States: if you drink and swear around kids in public you will get arrested. I guess “fun” has been banned in Florida. (Herald Tribune)
According to statistics teacher’s verbal abuse leads to early sex. So, kids - wanna get laid? Get in trouble more often at school. Duh. (The Star)
Cocaine washed ashore has been quite the catch for poor fishermen. (Guardian)
This couple (sadly) outdid Maury Povich with a little help from their friends. (Sky News)
Florida mom waves gun at kids at a bus stop, shouting “You can all get some of this!” after hearing about her son getting bullied. The whole incident occurred on the west side of town. It’s painfully obvious: momma was just representing the westsiiiiiiide, beyotches! (News4Jax)
Maxim presents “The World’s Most Annoying Couples.” (Maxim)
Kids: don’t cry over spilled milk. Adults: don’t cry over a 28-cent overcharge for toilet paper that wasn’t supposed to be taxed. (Pittsburgh Post)
Woman entering federal court is told to take off her bra, ’cause it sets off the metal detector. Upon asking for a private place to undo herself, officers said “No.” All I picture next is the woman saying “Okay, fellas” followed by…chicka-bawm-chicka-bawm-chicka-bawm. (MSNBC)
After 13 innings, the Colorado Rockies take the NL Wild Card from the San Diego Padres. (Yahoo)
Schools the world over ban hugs between students. See? I was right in 7th grade - hugs do get you pregnant! (My Way)
Britney Spears, fresh off losing custody of her kids, shows up at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, spending her cash and flashing her ass. I can’t believe I’m starting to like - nay, love - K-Fed. (TMZ)
I can’t possibly expand on this: “Sex in Car: Hooker Mom Snorts Cocaine Off Baby’s Stomach While Breastfeeding.” (Breitbart)
Hillary Clinton’s laugh (dubbed the “Clinton Cackle”) is no laughing matter. (Wonkette)
Garry Kasparov: world chess champion, Russian and…presidential candidate in Russia? (CBS)
Nike co-founder Phil Knight knows a thing or two about chivalry, good will towards men and resuscitating college sports arenas.
When Knight got word that University of Oregon’s McArthur Court had fallen prey to veined cracks-and-bruises he and his faithful wife Penny, The Duchess of Dunks donated a large sum of money to rescue it from complete dilapidation.
Fear not, humble Oregon University: Knight’s pledge of $100 million dollars will restore order to your crumbling court.
Properly known as the Oregon Athletics Legacy Fund, Knight’s contribution will show support to all ailing sports programs and arenas under the school banner. Read More »
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