Canada Owns America!

canada sucks

WTF is this all aboot?! If you’ve ever seen an episode of South Park you know that Canada has always lived in America’s shadow. But now it seems that our neighbors to the north are owning us in some pretty important caragories: wealth, happieness and sex.

A recent study shows that Canadians work less, live longer, enjoy better health, are wealthier, and have more sex than Americans. For instance, Canada’s median family household income clocks in at US$122,000; in America, it’s $93,000. Yeah, we felt sick to our stomachs, too.

Go ahead and verifty the numbers for yourself, but remember: although Canadians are wealthier, happier and have more sex, America’s got the nukes (Canada doesn’t), Canada runs on the metric system (practicality is lame); they only gained their independence from England in 1982 (thought they still have to vow allegiance to Queen Elizabeth). Canada doesn’t have the tropical weather of Hawaii, Guam, Puerto Rico or southern Florida. The Canadian football league sucked–and we stole hockey and John Candy!

Check out South Park’s episode “Canada on Strike” featuring Stephen Abootman here!

Streaming South Park For Free: “Making Boobage”

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South Park Studios is now streaming “Making Boobage” for free!

Kenny joins the latest drug craze as the kids of South Park start tripping balls when they sniff cat piss, the town tries to outlaw owning cats and some serious Heavy Metal mayhem insues.

Check out the full episode here

The UN is a Waste of Rhetoric!

unSitting her on a Saturday morning, after the gym, after breakfast, middle of coffee - and I find 3 stories in a row that show how truly ineffective the UN is. I am speechless and staggered by an overwhelming lack of effectiveness or even marginally decisive ideals.

Case 1: Zimbabwe. This a**whole has been slaughtering everyone who even speaks about running against him. So, the US and Europe put out a vote that the elections be nullified. Thank God South Africa came to the rescue! You remember South Africa, the apartheid people?

Read More »

The Orgasmatron is Spine-Tingling (Literally)

Orgazmo

Finally, technology with a point: After decades of waiting (and numerous hints towards its possibility via movies like Barbarella and Woody Allen’s Sleeper) science has taken a bold step forward in sexuality, coming close to controlling the human orgasm.

Dr. Stuart Meloy, a pain specialist in North Carolina, has concocted (be on the lookout for vague sexual innuendos from here on out) the Orgasmatron, a device that can stimulate pleasure through electrodes hitting the right spots. This. Is. Big. News. Read More »

Puff Daddy’s ‘Vote or Die’ Music Video

“Shake Them Ti**ies When You Vote, B*tch!”

Why College Students Abuse Over The Counter Cold Medicine

cold medicine abuseChances are many of you reading this have abused cold medicines in the past.  It’s such a rampant problem that the South Park guys dedicated an episode to it.

The government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration said 3 million young people in the United States between the ages of 12 and 25 admitted getting high off the medicines at least once.

The Agency said an overdose on cold medicine may result in serious life-threatening adverse reactions, including irregular heartbeat, delirium and death.

People abuse cold medicine for a sh*t load of reasons!

Here are a few: Read More »

Merry F’ing Christmas from Mr. Garrison

The Daily Shocker: Girls Don’t Have Balls

South Park balls

South Park, our guiding light, recently revealed that yes, girls don’t have balls.

Why the writer’s strike may screw us all - and how to help.

Amy Winehouse brings her F-game to a less-than-amused crowd on first date of her tour.

Well, whaddya know: teenagers who have sex are less prone to violence. They don’t call it being “sexually frustrated” for nothing. Duh.

Why is a German convict really, really happy to be doing community service for a kindergarten? (Hint: he was convicted three times of pedophilia in the past.)

Yeah! The new dollar coin is out, and it features none other than…who? James Madison?

World of Warcraft Intervention

world of warcraft

I believe the song from the South Park movie goes, “There are times when you get suckered in, by drugs and alcohol and sex with women. But it’s when you do these things too much that you become an addict and have to get back in touch.”

Mr. Mackey left something out of that little ditty: the video game World of Warcraft. Read More »

Video Trifecta: South Park

South Park New Season - Tourettes

South Park will be airing all-new episodes this month starting tonight. The latest episode of the show has Cartman coping with Tourette’s Syndrome in the most unsavory way.

From the official South Park website:

“Eric Cartman will say despicable things on national television. It’s all a part of Cartman’s master plan in an all-new episode of “South Park.” Continuing in its 11th season and fresh off of an Emmy win for Best Animated Program, “South Park” returns with seven all-new episodes beginning on Wednesday, October 3 at 10:00 p.m. on COMEDY CENTRAL. As a bonus, fans will be able to download the uncensored version of each new episode from the 11th season on iTunes, xBox, Amazon Unbox, walmart.com and bittorrent.com.

In the premiere episode, Cartman discovers the joys of having Tourette’s syndrome. Drunk with the power of saying whatever he wants without getting in trouble for it, Cartman lines up national TV coverage to take advantage of his new life with no filters.”

To honor this most festive of occasions we present you, fair reader, with some of the most memorable clips from the most recent seasons of South Park.

Watch the South Park clips after the jump. Read More »