Obnoxiously bright blues, greens and various shades of pink are walking, talking and dancing all around me. For some reason the intensely colored, and revealing dresses are the focus of my attention initially, not the girls wearing them. I can’t help but think this was a bad idea.

I’m nervous. This isn’t an excited, happy nervous; it’s an anxious, uncomfortable nervous. I’ve never been to a strip club before. I agreed to come here because I’m in New York City for the first time, my friends wanted to go, and it seems like the perfect time to try something new. Maybe I don’t like new.

Some of the girls are sitting and talking to customers, some are hanging around the edges of the club in small groups, and one girl is dancing on stage, slowly removing her clothes. I’m supposed to watch her, to be turned on, to want her. I don’t. I feel like a voyeur; averting my eyes from the stage like it’s something private meant for someone else. Read More »

Women do a lot of painful things to make themselves sexier for men: high heels, waxing, boob jobs, nose jobs, face lifts and Botox. But this booty-shaking bellydancer certainly did not need to do this…

New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if someone blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

College Candy was lucky enough to have a self professed “Relentlessly Unromantic, Self-Absorbed, Single Stripper” write an in depth SexBlog about a week of her life.

Check out College Candy’s SexBlog: The Relentlessly Unromantic, Self-Absorbed, Single Stripper you’ll read about many lap dances, one possible foursome opportunity, one masturbation session, one surprise old man penis, multiple rounds of out-of-this-world sex with one nameless Irishman. Read More

Controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens has signed a four-year, $34 million deal with the Dallas Cowboys. Along with the $7 million he will make in 2008, T.O. is slated to earn $27 million over the next three seasons, making him one of the highest paid players in the league.

What to do with all that money?

As TMZ reports, the strip club might be the best place to start saying, “Terrell Owens ventured out into the wilds of the Hampton’s Lily Pond nightclub to study the rare, indigenous, feather-tailed go-go bird in its natural environment.”

By our calculations, with his new contract at 100 $1 bills per minute, T.O. could “Make It Rain” on strippers for 5,666 hours or 236 days straight.

That’s a hell of a weather front, if you ask me.

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Son-of-a-b*tch! For some ridiculous reason, Texas has a law that forbids strippers from getting within 3-feet of their customers. (Do you know how far 3-feet is when boobs are involved?) And according to TheSmokingGun.com, because of this completely impractical law, they busted 18 innocent–I’m sure–women yesterday, who forgot to pack a tape measure in their g-string.

But it get’s worse.

Now that you’re properly pissed, I have to provide a disclaimer, before you peruse the gallery: Strippers aren’t always hot. The girl above is pretty fly, but at some strip clubs, that can be rare; just because she covers her body in glitter, that soft, sweet stripper smell, and takes off her clothes in the dark doesn’t mean she looks like a Pussycat Doll. Read More »

When I was still dancing, I worked with this girl. Her name was E. We knew so many E’s at the time, we started attaching adjectives to their names, to tell them apart. There was Cool E, Hippie E, and the E that we worked with. She came to be called Dumb E.

E Had a serious lisp–the worst lisp I’ve ever heard. She was also incredibly stupid. She was a year older than me (20 at the time) but she had the I.Q. of an 8 year old (maybe). And when you talked to her in the dressing room, you just thought of her as an eight-year-old, and everything was OK.

However, ten minutes later, that same little girl would be completely naked (it was an all nude club) climb up a 30-foot pole, flip upside down, slide to the floor and show the guy in the front row her p***y for a dollar. She had surprisingly good motor skills, for a complete moron. No rhythm, but she didn’t fall and bash her head, very often. Read More »

Everybody and their mother knows that Wii loves mothers (families in general, but they love moms a lot), from the perpetually PG vibes of their first-party games, to the undercurrent of low quality kiddie titles that would weigh down their entire library if anyone ever took notice.

While I’m in the camp that thinks Nintendo needs a little roughing up — Medal of Honor and other sloppy ports just won’t do — a Pole Dancing Wii game may not be the bridge they’re looking for, either.

From Tech Digest:

“Currently seeking a partner to help license their concept, Peekaboo Pole Dancing has sent out an email announcing their idea for a Wii game that’d have you ’shake your booty’ and ’spin your thing’.

Little else is said about the project, only that it’s a concept, and ‘A-list celebs’ like Carmen Electra, Kylie Minogue, the Spice Girls and Pussycat Dolls are already fans of the company, who currently sell portable dance poles.”

THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Still, it’s a fun thought, Nintendo endorsing a pole dancing title featuring the world’s most famous tramps. The mind boggles at the Wiimote’s possibilities.

(Photo Credit: Jamillia Deville - Pole Dancer, Julio Arenas - Photographer)

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. When people go to strip clubs and titty bars, they go there for the nakedness. Not the costumes, not the lighting, not the soundtrack (I mean, who hasn’t heard their fill of Pour Some Sugar On Me?), the nakedness.

Strip clubs are for seeing more than you could see strolling across a beach. Experiencing porn-like situations. Living out fantasies. Wasting hundreds of dollars. These are the sorts of experiences strip clubs provide. It’s common sense.

Except to idiots. Like Delegate John A. Cosgrove, a Chesapeake, Virginia, Republican. Cosgrove recently sponsored a bill that fights back against an August ruling that a Virginia law “prohibiting lewd conduct at establishments with liquor licenses was unconstitutional and too broad”. Read More »

With the writers’ strike going on for a veritable eternity, the NFL stepped in to supply us with enough drama and distractions that my girlfriend actually didn’t mind watching SportsCenter. Who was beating a hooker this week? Which QB was impregnating a super model today? What did Jessica Simpson do to fu** up my Fantasy Football team now?

The questions and drama were endless, but while NFL players were crashing million dollar cars and re-enacting “1 girl, no cup,” we took the time to point out a few of the most impactful. Read More »