Smallville: Superman’s Puss Years

Superman SmallvilleI like my superheroes to be tough, smooth, invulnerable, and good with the ladies.

With the writers strike off and television series’ back on, I got my NetFlix going to catch up on old episodes that I missed. Smallville was my starting point, and a horrifying anomaly made itself evident. Not sure if anyone is a fan or not, but I am worried about Superman.

The WB/CW is changing Clark Kent from the Man of Steel, to a a big flubbering pu**y. I discovered that the Superman that I grew up loving, spent his twenties as a whiny little b*tch. Not to mention, this show has more awkward kissing scenes than a Tom Cruise movie.

The show has amazing potential and features Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor. (Michael is THE best actor on the show and I found myself many times hoping that he would just put Clark out of his pissy little misery.) Even better, Smallville features 4 of the hottest girls on CW - Erica Durance, Laura Vandervoort, Allison Mack and Kristen Kreuk. If you are going to stray SO FAR from the comic book, at least make Clark a stud. The way the writing is going lately, I waiting for Clark Kent to pull out a rainbow flag and announce that he and Oliver Queen are life partners.

Come on, CW - butch it up a bit for f**k’s sake!

How To Cuddle Correctly

cuddle

Even the most macho male can admit that cuddling in bed is pretty rad - unless your arm gets trapped underneath a pile of pillows, losing all blood circulation while your girl sleeps easy.

I never thought somebody would have the brains or patience to solve this problem of all problems, but I was wrong: the fine folks at The Love Story have compiled a list of superior snuggling tips.

Watch their video and read their tips after the jump! Read More »

Batman Returns: You can buy the Batmobile

batmobile_prototype The Batmobile is real. Every single time you see the Batmobile in the movie, you are seeing a real, physical object, not a computer-generated graphic. Whether it is driving on city streets at 100 mph, landing in the Batcave or pulling up to the scene of a crime, what you’re looking at is a real car. When the Batmobile flies 30 feet through the waterfall to land in the Batcave, what’s landing is a real, 5,000-pound vehicle. The Batmobile is so real that it actually served as the pace car for a major NASCAR race held in June 2005.

HowStuffWorks spoke with Nathan Crowley — the man who designed the Batmobile and brought it to life in “Batman Begins” — to find out what’s going on. Unlike Superman, who has superhuman powers, Batman is a normal human being who gains all of his advanced capabilities through ingenuity and technology. In short, Batman needs wheels to get around.

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Smallville + Vandervoort = Better Than Week 1!

Laura VandervoortHere is the brief synopsis of Smallville, week 2:

Clark (Tom Welling) and Lois (Erica Durance) discover Kara’s (Laura Vandervoort) spaceship but before they can open it, Kara appears and knocks Lois out. Clark is shocked after Kara tells him she is there to protect baby Kal-El.

Despite Kara’s appearance, a despondent Clark decides that without Lana (Kristin Kreuk) there is nothing keeping him in Smallville, and heads to the Fortress of Solitude to begin his training as a superhero.

However, Jor-El tells him Kara’s father — Zor-El, who is Jor-El’s brother — is evil and Kara is dangerous, therefore Clark must stay in Smallville to find out why she came to Earth. Lex (Michael Rosenbaum) makes a stunning discovery regarding Lana and Project 33.1.

The truth is, Laura Vandervoort is my wife. She doesn’t know it yet, but she will be. Kristin Kreuk is shi*e next to her. I used to be in love with Alison Mack, but alas - those days are gone. Laura…I am waiting for you. Read More »