The $25B Detroit “Bailout” You Don’t Know About

While we were all watching our parents cry over their lost retirement accounts and House Republicans decided not the bail out the rich - I was expecting stigmata or the seas to turn to blood. Instead, I found a little blurb on CNN that noted a $25B loan to the auto industry that was quietly approved with some MAJOR implications.

First, the background: the American automakers have been struggling with pensions and pay increases for union workers who have dedicated their lives to American cars. Unfortunately, the automakers themselves have the reflexes of a 90 year old Parkinson’s patient.

While the world is moving forward with hyper-efficient cars, American automakers have what’s called a ‘backlog.’ In essence, they can’t start building efficient cars until they finish all the gas-guzzling SUVs that they currently have cued for production. Over $4.5B in SUV parts are not even in production yet, but “have to be used” before the companies will move onto the basic planning stages of new vehicles. Read More »

Tailgating 101

tailgate football

Tailgating. It has become the most popular ‘ritual before the actual ritual’ ritual. It takes the term ‘pre-gaming’ to a whole different level. Whether it’s before a concert, graduation, Baptism, a job or even a funeral, it all has the same universal goal, laid out very simply in this sentence: “Drink to get drunk before you drink, you drunk!� In other words, it’s the process of getting a nice buzz going before the actual main event, in this week’s case, Opening Sunday of the NFL.

If you are one of the unfortunate cities to not have an NFL team … well, you will most likely have a less awesome time than those tailgating… unless your doing your own thing, like drinking. If you are drinking, don’t drive, unless you’re driving an SUV of course… Anyway, where was I? Oh right, drinking to get drunk before you drink, you drunk.

Depending on where you are from and the type of fans the team has will decide what kind of tailgate will be had. Bears fans from the windy city and Patriot fans holding their beers with gloves on up in the Northeast, usually have a really super tailgate… judging by the heaviness of their male population: fat people drink and eat more!

The severely deprived fans of Philadelphia have their own little slogan, “Drink to get drunk before being disappointed.â€? These fans know their teams will ultimately shit the bed, so the Philadelphia tailgate usually starts a good 7 hours before kickoff, if you are running late. Read More »

Ode to the Odious Minivan Generation

minivan2

Before the SUV, soccer moms drove another scourge of emasculation upon the wide-open road, the minivan. Yes, the minivan with its bubble shape and sliding door was the vehicle of choice for suburbia during the nineties due to the maximum interior room it offered. At some point in your life, you most likely either owned one or rode in one.

Minivan’s got their name from the fact that they are smaller, more streamlined, and less creepy looking than regular vans, due to more windows. They were first introduced to the North American market in late 1983 for the 1984 model year when Toyota introduced the Toyota Van while Chrysler released both the Dodge Caravan and the Plymouth Voyager. Read More »