Sam Adams (Boston, brewer) is angry at Sam Adams (Portland, candidate for Mayor) for using his/its/their likeness…in name.

Zac Efron to star alongside Mann in movie directed by Burr Steers of The L Word. Shooting fish in barrel just got a million-times easier.

Wanna pick up chicks? Buy this minivan.

VIDEO: Are you bad at both internets? Gabe & Max can help.

New trend: graffiti gone green.

To all horny teachers getting busted: wait until they graduate.

Halle Berry is looking mighty busty these days.

De Niro to return to his mafia roots.

No need to paraphrase: “Dolphins used to look like humans and lived in Atlantis”

Pittsburgh moron first tries to cash in a $1 million dollar bill at a local shop, then proceeds to reach for the store’s scanner gun to retaliate when it’s not accepted. What, is this guy from the year 2066 or something? (Pittsburgh Tribune)

Svedka Vodka: a favorite among jobless, useless New York socialites. (College Candy)

Caution to every male in the United States: if you drink and swear around kids in public you will get arrested. I guess “fun” has been banned in Florida. (Herald Tribune)

According to statistics teacher’s verbal abuse leads to early sex. So, kids - wanna get laid? Get in trouble more often at school. Duh. (The Star)

Cocaine washed ashore has been quite the catch for poor fishermen. (Guardian)

Man finds $100K in attic, ends up fighting cops, widow, demon inside him that says “f*** it all, move to Fiji and marry a hot Sweden chick.” (Sun Sentinel)

Damn! Teachers really are horny these days - do any of them have the decency to keep their cream-colored pantsuits from TJ Maxx on? (MSN News)

Baby’s first sleepover: a day care in Canada, like, totally forgot that a 3-year-old was inside, so they locked her in overnight. (Edmonton Sun)

When the Big Cheese teaches the Little Cheese, it’s turns out rotten. (Gawker)

“11 Things to Do When You’re in Traffic Gridlock” (SF Gate)

Jones Soda presents: Dirt and Sweat Soda. Seriously. (BusinessWeek)