Dear Squinty-Eyed Pig Face Girl,

We haven’t known each other long, in fact we may never see each other again, but I feel the need to give you a little warning. I know you’re young and having fun, but a few of the things you do make you seem a little desperate, and that might get you a bad reputation.

I met you last night at the hot tub in our apartment complex, and I’m pretty sure you don’t remember very much of what happened there. Your face was abnormally small and took up a much smaller percentage of your head than a normal person’s. And as much as that scared me, it wasn’t the worst thing about you.

My roommates and I were relaxing after the bar, drinking a few beers and having a enjoying a soak– and then you showed up. Read More »

Ah, summer–a time to enjoy the outdoors, soak in some sun, check out chicks and drink till you can’t even find your car keys, let alone use them. (That’s what we call responsible.) Trouble is, sex on the beach and tequila sunrises sound summery, but any dude who drinks them should be beaten with a bar stool.

So to avoid any incidental injury this summer, stick to COED’s refreshing list of 9 Essential Summer Dude Drinks. If there’s even a splash of pink in these cocktails, you can kick our asses.

(Click on the pic for ingredients and recipes.)

Everyone I’ve ever met has a dark past with tequila. Just the mention of it makes their face go sour–the shots, the smell, the blinding drunk, and a hellacious hangover the next morning. For some reason, I am not one of those people. But after my family vacation to Mexico last week, I learned a bit about another South-of-the-Border brew: Mezcal.

Like tequila (which is actually a type of mezcal), mezcal is made from agave, a cactus-like plant, native to Mexico. Mezcals are often aged, in oak barrels, for two months to seven years, giving the alcohol a brown coloration and woody flavor, but are available un-aged and clear.

Connoisseurs will tell you the best mezcals come from the Mexican state of Oaxaca (wah-hock-ah). To fully enjoy the complexities of this subtle liquor, go to the city of Oaxaca, the state’s capital, who’s colonial architecture and friendly people only add to the liquor’s historic mystic. Read More »

Billionaire Margarita       Bloody Maria              Jalisco Express             Caipri-Julio

        DJ’s Delight         La Paloma Suprema     Top Shelf Long Island     Morning Breeze

We’ve all been there… sworn off drinking tequila ever again after a hard night out and a few too many peer-pressure-induced shots of Cuervo Gold. But the truth is, it’s not tequila’s fault. It’s Jose’s.

For years Cuervo has been literally shoving Gold Mixto down our throats and calling it tequila. A true tequila is made from 100% agave and often aged. A gold mixto tequila is usually made with less than 50% agave, blended with sugar water, non-aged and colored with caramel. It is the mixto that will make your throat squelch and mouth water with only a wiff.

Today there are a more than a handful of 100% agave tequilas on the market that aim to remove the stigma that has followed tequila around like an annoying little step-brother. Brands like Patron, Casa Noble and Don Julio (yes, Cuervo does too) offer incredibly smooth and flavorful Blanco, Anejo and Reposado- 100% agave tequilas.

Whether you sip it, shoot it, or mix it… it’s time to give tequila another chance. Here are 8 cool ways you have most certainly never had tequila before. (Click on a drink above to see how it’s made)

We can’t wear white anymore ’cause Labor Day passed (not that we care about chick fashion rules anyway…). Football season kicked off this week, and college is back in session. Yup, summer is almost over; but technically there are still a few more weeks left before the autumn leaves start fallin’.

There might be a few pool parties left in 2007 so we leave it to thebar.com to serve up a few summer concoctions to round out the year.

DJ’S DELIGHT
3/4 oz Don Julio Blanco Tequila
3/4 oz melon liqueur
1 oz pineapple juice

Add Don Julio Blanco Tequila, melon liqueur, and pineapple juice in ice-filled rocks glass and stir. Read More »

As if the New York City heat wave wasn’t hell-sent enough, it chose to hit at the exact moment that the air conditioning in our cluttered intern’s den became kaput. Working at this music television station had simply become one crazy story after the next.

The other day I was asked to get one of the VJ’s dogs groomed and was given an anal leakage prescription that, to my horror (this is my luck we’re talking about) got carried away by a breeze and was handed back to me by a beautiful, beautiful (somewhat queasy-looking) but beautiful boy. Anal leakage is not such a cute ‘So how’d you two meet?’ type of story. So, I bailed pronto.

Anyway that was the other day, today was today, and today I was sweating like a recovering nymphomaniac who’d accidentally stumbled into a brothel. The glory of it all was that miraculously, the AC had only died out in our small cubicle encrusted room, so no one with any actual power had any desire to get it fixed anytime soon.

Oh, the agony of a summer internship.

I was immersed in checking for evidence of the dreaded pit stain (little ones already and it was only nine, boo) when my boss Pierre came to what seemed like my rescue, informing me that I’d be working in the filming studio today. I clapped my hands together, this I’d never done before! Read More »