It was bound to happen: Hollywood hacks may be taking The Karate Kid, one of the most beloved movies of all time, hostage. Gagged and bound.

This news isn’t as shocking as one would expect, seeing that approximately 3 out of 4 movies in theaters are either remakes or adapted screenplays from best-selling books. Has that little attribute called “creativity” been done away with completely or is Hollywood just f***ing lazy?

Beats me. All I know is that Will Smith’s son, Jaden Smith (Pursuit of Happyness) is slated to play Daniel-San. C’mon! I’m sure the original crane-kicker Ralph Macchio needs the work. Pat Morita (R.I.P.) would be pissed.

The remake epidemic is still running strong, and will continue to do so as long as boneheaded moviegoers shell out $10 (or more) to see a poor rendition of a flick they hold on a pedestal out of pure nostalgia. Let the memories be exactly that - memories. Read More »

I despise Michael Bay - not because of his back catalog of overstuffed, budget-husking flicks (The Rock and Bad Boys were A-OK action fluff IMHO). There are hundreds-upon-hundreds of hacks in Hollywood; to pick out Bay as the single, solitary bane of moviemaking existence is plausible, but not probable.

I despise Michael Bay for being such a jaded, wishy-washy, temperamental p**** when backed into the proverbial corner by Paramount execs.

When the head-honchos at Paramount decided to ditch the blu-ray format and go HD-DVD exclusive Bay flipped his wig and posted a nasty blog about their poor decision and stepping down from his directorial duties on Transformers 2 - mere hours later his inspired rant was completely retracted.

The ending prose in his “updated” blog is pure pussing-out:

“As a director, I’m all about people seeing films in the best quality possible, and I saw and heard firsthand people upset about a corporate decision.

So today I saw 300 on HD-DVD, it rocks!

So I think I might be back on to do Transformers 2!”

Yay, Bay! “As a director” you’re sappier than Vermont’s Finest and about as “upset about a corporate decision” as anybody who has lined their pockets with millions directing big-budget, action-packed weep-a-thons. Read More »